Celebration a fiasco

"oi why are u back !!@#%$^@$ " shouted lim pei

" yah lor , what u want!? " said the 2 birds, BigC0ck and turkeyman

" hey where's my kopi-O? " , asked undies.

a sudden breeze of coldness filled the air .................................. brrrrrr

"I cant see mars !! " cried GGG -------------* refer to july archives for more on GGG*

ALAMAK! bloody heaven!!! No Mars means that GGG stays for another thousand year. Grrrrr
" bohohohoho.................. sobx sobx.... No Mars ! Ramly lied us ! " cried GGG .

yah lor , ramly lied everyone leh, wahhh first time hear teacher lie seh . i neber thought that teachers have any sense of humour. MUST celebrate thiss in 31 August siah .
so no mars, lim peh didnt see any red ball up the sky so high like a balloon in the sky.
what a shameful way to see my money burn in the party .
so good news or BAD news, GGG is here to stay. bloody hell ....... sigh..

And yes operation NEW Horizon is true and happening , undergarments . NASA has sent a robot to Pluto to take pictures of everything there including Mr Kuiper's belt. sicko perverts are the NASA u might say .

LPSC celebrates 27 th August!


THis week , people are going crazy about the last undiscovered frontier , SPACE.
People have been talking from the solar system to Mars and then pluto. whoaaaa .Speaking of mars, GGG will be getting ready to set off back to home on 27th August . " .....because Mars will be nearest to Earth on that day!" he/she said. He better made it to Mars , cause we don't want him for the next 1000 yrs on Earth,!!! ( * refer to june archives for more details about this abominable alien )
GGG said," I want to go home , GO home !!!! hurray MArs coming back for me!! " like real .
therefore , LPSC want everyone of you readers to give ur final farewell and flowers o GGG so that we can sent him home as soon as possible. u know what i mean?
LOOK INTO THE SKY AT 27TH AUGUST TO SEE GGG 'S ROCKET GOING TO THE RED BALL NEXT TO MOON AT 10PM FOR THE LAST TIME.

Quote from GGG " no one alive will ever see this again"
Huh??? what does" this " refer to ? GGG? or MARS?

Anyway ,some asked,"What happened to pluto? why is it 8 planets now ah? I thought got 9 leh?"
well, lim peh went to research. Maybe all of u should do ur own research.

But anyway, Pluto is no longer considered a planet. Some ppl even say pluto kenna collided with Neptune. NOOOOOOOOOO , this is untrue. Actually, the new definition, what ever it might mean, made pluto a dwarf planet . Thus, no longer a planet by itself.

" Long before ur time ah , Pluto was thought to be an escaped moon of Neptune leh, don play play " said Mr Twinkle Starrre , one of the many astronomy lunatic. " whaaa , now ah , Pluto from planet become dwarf . Stylo Milo siah!!! "

So are there anymore dwarf planets around .?
yes , lim peh checked on one of them. CERES . wherE? somewhere between mars and Jupiter.
it is very small . maybe like pluto. i dont give a damn.

SO what will NASA do about Pluto. ?

Since Pluto came into news media, Nasa started an operation to check on pluto.

OPERATION KAYPOH NEW HORIZON. check it out at Nasa website.

GOOD BYE GUNDU Gamma Gay ...... bloody son of a ....!

COuntdown of The WeEk

Once again , Cowdung of the week is back! this week's cowdung is about 10 things what UNEMPLOYMENT will cause a person to do!



1) You will start to hang out in coffeeshop more often than ever
2) you become more aware of the gahmen policies
3) you start to spend more time on Internet
4) u may consider blogging
5) u start to criticise the gahmen and other sensitive issues in ur blog
6) u use stupid colours e.g. BROWN or other names e.g. kin mun for ur username to protect ur identity. GRRRRRRR....
( bloody hell use my name!!!)

7) u start podcasting about Bah Chor Mee and other irrelevent noodles
8) ur blog starts to get more popular and infamous
9) u start to worry about ur broadband and lawyers fees
10) u see urself ending up in the gahmen's national day speech.

Not so good huh......

Anyway, Teacher's Day is coming and lpsc will be talking about our t'chers throughout next week . Let us talk about our t'chers' weakness and personalities for t'chers day .
T'chers such as ,
Mrs Ram butan
Mr soooo KH .......
Mr Yappy yappy yap
Miss pearlyn lim perlyn lim puay lim L.
P .L .P. L. P
Mr Arul chndrn ai shey bui
and of course Mr ChewBAkar
and many many more ......

the following news is purely untrue and any questions about the credibility will not be commented.
New Game in town

WOW: World of Warbala
From reliable sources , LPSC was informed that BLizzard and Microsoft are working together to create a brand new PC game that will rule the world. Game developer, Mr Harry Silverman, said that they will be coming up with a new idea in the game which will relate to the world events.
" there will also be better graphics and sound effects that you can imagine it is happening right now. !"

This new strategic game will only be available in 5 countries namely Isreal, Lebaneon, Sri Lanka, Ireland and East timor. " we will try to increase the no. of countries to buy this game, but at the meantime, it is useful for this 5 countries to try it first. Why? because the people there are generally more experienced and familiar with the game. Game is still under development. " said the Head of the Collaboration team.

Miss Ang Gu Kui , one of the many Game Designers involved , hinted " there will be unique characters with special powers in the game. It 's gonna be bigger , and better.!"
Hero 1
O'Sammy bin ladder - the prominent figure related by many to terrorism cases.
ability- to summon blind wolverines who kill anyone they hear even if they cant see them .

Hero 2
p_UN_k-- You don't wanna mess with this guy
ability -- sent paratroopers( 1 hr later) to conflicted area. they are specialised to cease fire and peace keeping
-- sent aids to injured troops for free ( also 1 hr later)

Hero 3
Rajumnak hfoahfio son of bala --- mysterious black dark person who tries to split a country into half .
ability? - summon Tigers to assist his confrontation .
- convert civilians into suicide bombers.

Hero 4
Catholic- tic_ con verters - -- you son of a b****!
ability- summon masked Riders who can ride on any mobile objects and attack any civilians in sight.
- espcially aggressive to the anyone who go against them. !!

so there may be many other heroes in the game. " Names of the groups have not been decided yet due to game complictations ." More countries will get to play the game if the reactions are good.

" there will be scenarios such as the Water supplies, the 2 kidnapped soldiers and optional quests like Bloody Moonday and Tigers on the loss" said Miss Ang.
Teen Gamer in Sri lanka , Bala-4_life '" the game is great, the graphics are not only Fantastic, the sound effect is soooo real. you can even hear the explosions a distance away"
For more deatails please visit http://www.

Lim peh: so what makes you think of such ideas?
Developer: well , basically , we want to put in some real- life ass kicking actions for the young generation to enjoy and have fun. we will keep it as non-fiction as possible. But ,sorry . NO undead, No nightelves and NO orcs!!!!
lim peh: do you have anything else to add on?
Developer: Jiak Bah Bueh?
lim peh: simme dai ji !?!!?
Developer: neber mind.

last week, UNDIES received a phone call from LPSC's best friend Mr Exemplar. and he requested for me to help him with the production of his home-made movie. he needed a cameraman and a director. hahah i was so damn honoured!

it's only 22 seconds. but that's my very first production too, so spare me. call it a sneak preview, perhaps. you can watch it at http://www.mr-exemplar.blogspot.com/



Starring: HX Chong, CS Ee Sound Effect: YX Tan
Director: UNDIES Cameraman: UNDIES
Subtitles: HX Chong

Final Mafia MP4 (3.5mb)
(you may need to tune up your computer volume)

one thing i dont understand. why is it A CHX PRODUCTION when UNDIES is the director? =/



and hey. LPSC has decided to use Fileden to host our COCKCAST, so right now there shouldnt be any problem downloading them. but please do not mind the slow streaming speed. thank you peeps (:

ASK Father's Cock

once again, welcome back to Ask Father's Cock section. hope you people doing well . like i care

anyway , lets get straigt to the letter.

Dear Lspc,
there is war happening now. i am sure u all know. i am afraid that that that more wars will be coming. will there be a nuclear war? how do we know when it comes? what are the consequences? will the United Nations protect us from a nuclear war?

pls help.
rag and bone man



dear rag and bone man,
ehhhhhhh.......... i don't know . maybe you should go ahead and ask the UN administrator about a nuclear war.i am sure u will find the answer there but not here dude. i am not gonna ask for you and i don't care. and i dont give a damn..................... thank you very much. = } btw i have some newspaper to sell.

Source B


Ozymandlas *:" Look at my works, ye mighty , and despair!!! . HAHAHA . Cough . "

Now infer that! Mrs Ram! ( 12)

*ozymandlas refers to an ancient group of people who overestimated their abitlity and challenged the god on their " mighty" works which in the end , their works became corroded, broken and destroyed.

Yooooo people! UNDIES' representing LPSC, to advertise our lastest product that is already available, not storewide, but only in LPSC Supermarket and LPSCmerchandise.com .



KROO KROO SHAMPOOOOO!!






















THAT'S RIGHT! the picture says a million words! but here's an audio advertisement for this product. hope you'll like it peeps!

KROO KROO SHAMPOO

purchase your own Kroo Kroo Shampoo, and share a STANDING experience with Xiaohua!!

yes you've guessed it. this is our debut of THE COCKCAST!!

and oh our dear Discipline Master, you would love to have something like this (: . trust me.



OHH an addon! some of our die-hard fans have managed to download LPSC's Theme Song, but has totally no idea what the chicken is saying. okay your so-ever kind UNDIES is here to provide you with the lyrics!

LPSC Theme Song by BIGc0ck and turkeyMAN

LPSC
you're the one i need
Together we will love
I saw the dream
Together we laugh together

one day
i open the computer
open the internet connection
i type www.limpeishittycock.blogspot.com
i saw four characters
turkeyMAN Limpeh UNDIES and BIGc0ck oh
i look at their
silly and funny things oh yeah

and oh
i want to be with them oh oh
nobody's this funny, man
i wanna be with LPSC
be with LPSC
LPSC

i hear applause! though the lyrics are total crap. hahaha. but that's LPSC man; we only crap, crap, and crap!

okay geocities sucks like hell. the hourly transfer limit screws up our business. some readers have also complained that they cant download the COCKCASTs due to our exceeded transfer limit. or is it just that we have too many supporters? HAHAH it's the latter, i know. but well, i do hope you loyal readers can introduce LPSC some music hoster sites, with EFFICIENT and FAST download/upload speed, and WITHOUT bandwith limitations. then we can ensure that all of you can download the COCKCASTs we have provided for you peeps!

thank you all. LPSC loves you to the FU*KING CORE.

This national day, lets not just sit at the sofa and watch TV. Lets do something Uniquely singapore like preserve our local indigenous wild life ,the Brown elephant.


Source A ( a picture drawn by a cockster cartoonist)


what can we bloody infer? ( 5)

Allow FREEDOM OF SPeECH !!!!! dun let it be endangered. and not to forget the local COckians . save them too.! what is more unique than to have our native style of communication ? cmon, lets promote uniquely Singapore in a unique way the Gahmen havent thought about!!!

also, not to mention , we must conserve our very own Kiasu nautical syndrome (KNS) which no
one foreigners can get it besides us . KNS has obviously benefitted our lives for 41 yrs! KNS is what brings about the success in S'pore. donch yah think so?

and last but not least, our very own Singlish must not disappear because it is our very own way of language. you see, we can made full use of it when we do not want tourists to understand what we are talking, like SARS, terrorists, where to get the best sale, and even SEVEN.
we can use Singlish as a code in war, so that ang moh spies will neber succeed in their secret mission/ we talk cheong hay stuff in front of foreigners and they will pretend to understand everything hahahahaha.


SO lets stand up for singapore because Singapore is our homeland , it is a place where we belong!
If not for the Unique characters if Singaporeans, sooner or later, most youth will leave S'pore and we will lose our local talent pool. So......... good luck ,GAHMEN!

LIM peh ka le kong ! wow I have to agree that ppl are going mad this days about dream-come-through- idols. Lim peh also have his own idol!!! he is

""MR A**********N ""

If u still don't who i am refering to . here is a hint . he have a distinct interest about hokkien language and he likes to mix it with chinese. he will use it whenever he wants and i like that. FREEDOM OF LANGUAGES. cool huh( ok not so cool)

here are some common things he will say/do:

1) "Siao jie ,! kuai dian nah"

2) "ho she bo"

3) "aye sai buey/ tio bo?"

4) "Ask, and thou shall be enlightened"

5) the"thumbs up " dance

6) doing weird stretching exercise during class

6) playing with his mustache

7) slaming his textbook on the table and punching it

8) singing old Bee Gee's songs

9) and more nonsenses

okay i guess those in the school will know who he is now !

THE FOLLOWING TOPIC IS RATED R FOR ITS CONTENT.

hahha UNDIES' feeling dirty today! and today's topic is definitely as dirty.



"CYBER SEX"

well, it has been real common these days, and i just dont understand what's so facinating about it. it's clueless masturb*ting upon something behind the screen. what's so much better than LIVE! it's not as if you need to subscribe to Starhub SCV, nor you need to tune in to HBO every midnights to watch hot sex. all you need to do is to bring a bitch home.



surely teens use the Internet and Messenger in particular to discuss sex all the time and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you take the necessary precautions, like "don't turn your webcam on", "don't send revealing pictures of yourself", and mom's golden oldie "don't talk to strangers". Though, that last advice is negotiable, because recently the Teen Sex Information Program has trained trustworthy teen volunteers to answer their peers's questions about sexual health, puberty, relationships and safer sex options via Messenger. but who gives a damn?

what's with Habbo Hotel these days? from a friendly controllable friendster-like stimulator into a filthy sex club where despos hook up unknown creatures behind the monitor. even the harmless RPG Maple Story is getting outrageous with "maple steads". what rubbish! even in web cams, where people start getting into orgasms over the other recipients' nude bodies, and later troubling their poor mamas in washing up the sticky mass squirted on the computer screen. everything about cyber sex is making traditional sex degrade into a horribly horribly low level (oh well unless the other party is your boyfriend/girlfriend =/). make FULL use of your bed, c'mon!!

oh well, it's just the nature of fulfilling one's sexual fantasies. they cant bring a pussy home, and they will attempt to mate strangers online.

okay at least it's much better than meeting them up personally. but it's equally dumb to circulate your cocks and pussies out to the unknown world! dont argue by saying that you can choose not to reveal your face online; it's also as humiliating to accept the fact that your nehnehs and kukus are being viewed by the millions online.




now wouldn't that be great, you think? :D

okay teenagers, i know you're underaged and you cant possibly bring a bitch to your bed. just hold on to your fantasies, focus on your Mathematics and wait till you reach the legal age! why bore yourself with cyber sex?

for grown men who do that, it's GREATER shame on you! you can have sex even without a condom, why bother to lose your tadpoles to someone online? RAH. for grown women, just dont be so grumpy over choosing your sex partners, and you can enjoy hot tasty cocks.



enjoy the traditional sex life. it's more realistic and more ENJOYABLE :D.

COuntdown of the week

this week lim pei focus on the all time fav. Harry potter .
after discussing with J.K .R . we come up with 10 brilliant ideas for the next harry potter book .

1) Harry potter and the slim shaddy
2) Harry potter learns to rock
3) harry potter and his first world tour
4) harry potter visits S'pore
5) harry potter and his new secretary
6) harry potter learns to flirt
7) harry potter and his shotgun marriage
8) harry potter turns bankrupt
9) harry potter catchs no balls
10) harry potter and LSPC

Pupils disappointed by Felix's visit

Lim peh Ka le Kong, while the rest of LPSC ( and many of the supporters) are at "war" with unidentified flamers , flooding the tagboard with insults and fires, Lim pei keeps himself busy by attending the events of Library Week .

One of them is the Felix's visit. Ever since Felix (the writer cum journalists cum thief cum local micheal jackson cum child molester cum gay) , visited our school, lim pei see pupils starting to frown and puke . This could be unhealthy to the 4 million smile project.

One of the many who attended, pupil miss Pand Sai , says, " I though felix was a cat but it turned out to be a filthy, disgusting gay out of no where .

however, they are supporters who go crazy about Felix. GGG , which shockingly appers to be one , said, " He is soooooxxx cutexxxx and i wanna hugxxx , kiss kiss and gay with him! but ..... he just smiled tooooo much . "

When Interviewed, Felix said," i am so happy and gay that there are so many male pupils attending my talks" and" ....... my latest books to be published in 2808 are '''' How can cats be gay'"" and """ know your pussy well version SEVEN "

hey why seven?

also , posters with his smiley gay face is still around even after the talks . KNN I had nightmares about LIBRARY WEEK then.

and now for Betcha didnt know!

lim pei betcha didnt know that the most dirtiest , filthiest thing after Money is actually .............................................. HANDPHONE. imagine u use it everyday, wiping all the germs more than those found in toilet bowl sits onto your face. YYYEEEWWW . Because research has shown that the heat generated by the handphone encourages growth of bacteria. thus handphone is the most dirtiest breeding ground for germs. HAHAHA now do u dare to use yah handphone.



and now for Crap song of the week .

Contributed by " oh dear i am dancing in cyclone!"

reload reload ur rifle
bush say bush say no rifle
throw a missile up so high
like a seven in the sky

twinkle twinkle little star s
how ja wonder what yah are.


OKAy that dont make sense.

Quotte of the week . by william COCKsby

cutting your fingernails will shorten your memory

so remember this phrase when u cut your nails.




stay tune next time for COUNTDOWN OF THE WEEK

hahah UNDIES' posting again for i-dont-know-what-reason.
SEVEN
oh okay, it's about odd numbers. what's about them? they are odd, and they are usually used oddly by odd people.
IS
'oddly used' means to misusingly misuse something usable. such a behavior really ruins the beauty of Mathematics and figures.
A
yet there's always a black sheep who trys to be unique. it calls itself seven.
FUCKING
i dont know why. why seven? seven's boyfriend dumped it at 7th July? or seven's mother committed suicide at 7:07:07pm because seven has abnormal 7 pairs of nipples on its fake bosom? i dont know.
JERK
but anyway. it baa-baas its way here without bringing any threat. so i guess it can be LPSC's newest friend! oh come on, it isnt baka. its our friend, real friend :D. we really welcome you to come here and ask for more milk! and of course, we need your pubic wool in return for the constant upgrading of UNDIES.
WHORE
oh that sheep stated that we are wrong to rebut baka, when he/she/it was the one who discriminated us first. if that's the case, then OKAY LOR. DOWAN THEN DOWAN LOR. *i hear distant boos*. sigh sorry fans, i guess we will have to brainstorm just for another millisecond for new ideas to replace baka. LPSC is guilty (not really lah) for discriminating baka for the past month, and we hereby spit our apologies at baka's face. LPSC also promises that this blog will not only be clean-and-green, but it will also be insult-free from today onwards. *more boos*. we also show our warmest gratitude to seven for visiting us everyday to pinpoint the punier-than-minor mistake LPSC has committed. we also feel apologetic for making you stomp your hoofs on the keyboard everyday for us. thank you seven! *louder boos*. yea fuck you.
WHO
okay and i promise this will be my very last post about our dear baa-baa black shit and baka. but most probably our so ever hot-tempered BIGc0ck will make a follow-up on his own. other than that, UNDIES promises that he will do nothing else but lame shit only. so sorry fans ): it's wrong to discriminate people, you know? UNDIES will need to re-plan the schedules for The Cotton Crap so as to "make sense". so stayed tuned fans!
FUCKS
i was crossing my fingers.
MOTHERS

just as brother lim peh posted a magnificent entry about Ang Moh Lang (it's real, this native speaker really emailed us!), UNDIES' here to make things clear to everyone about certain irritating issues.

what's the issue huh? this righteous-wannabe bombarded LPSC indirectly at ECE's tagboard, stating that we are kids to form factions with ECE to "defeat baka".

alright. let LPSC make this straight to all: we are NOT "teaming up" with ECE to "defeat baka". baka is LPSC's main attention, and i believe our 2 cents can handle him/her/it well enough. we are not gonna seek for help, nor we have sought for any. after all, what else can baka do other than yadayada with his/her/its poor-like-shit dialect? it's not as if we are so pathetically unable to spoof the pathetically pathetic elephant ourselves. further more, baka's OUR issue, baka did not disturb ECE in any way. so who in the loo has decided the co-operation of ECE and LPSC to "defeat baka"? LPSC didnt, period.

and who says we are "defeating" baka? we are trying to play with the identity 'baka' instead. LPSC's life has been pretty interesting because of that new character. not only that, our loyal fans like it. come on, isnt it so hilarious to see this low-down faggot frequently visit our friendly blog and say nothing but clueless hokkien? even some of our fans think baka sucks.

isnt it better this way? ECE shall go on with their own programme schedules for their readers, while we do our's ourselves. after all, ECE titled this as a competition. so, what's the helping-hands applied here for?

but most importantly, ECE is not our enemy. it's just like the relationship between Darlie and Colgate.

so ladies and gentlemen. i hope your misconception of the so-called merger has been cleared upon this entry. please continue to show us your support by frequently visiting us for more craps and leaving us a tag! my regards again, THANK YOU READERS :D.

word.

ASK my Father's COCK no offense this is the name of the programme

This week lim peh got a letter from a 15 year old boy about his problem with Standard English

Dear LPSC,

I am a native speaker of English. I took great umbrage to people who don't speak English in the proper way. which makes up 99.999999999999999 % . and i got sick of speaking Standard English as no one understand my talk. CReme of the creme . or coup de grace.

First, I take utmost disgrace for my fellow peers who fail to understand what i am saying. In reply, they spouted some Hokkien words at me like " ***********" (censored) this absurd behaviour is not acceptable. Everyone just don't understand. They can only know what is "lehs , lahs andmehs" . i have serious communication problem.

Even the teachers have difficulty, whenever i asked a question, they would flip their DICT. to make out what i was trying to say. but even then, they still cant answer my doubts . when i say i catch no ball, they thought i am gonna grab their balls. thus i was slapped .

Durin recess, i find it hard to order simple food. Cant the vendors understand what is chinese noodle with extra minced pork and green vegetables with extra gravy?????

What shoulld i do?? pls help

Mr Ang Moh lang




DEar Mr Ang,

Lim peh says , I doncht noe what your England is about. i wonder why ur inglish so lousy . lim peh also catch none of your balls. pls lah speak in our native way for sake of everyone.
Lim peh also interviewed some of the teachers.

Maths Teacher, Mr singh inglish said, " wah lao , his england very tokong leh. si beh chim sia. damn even me also grab no balls "

English Teacher says," He is one of the very few problematic students in our school. NOw every teachers are required to bring their pocket Dict.s to school .".

Here are some suggestions by lim peh for you problematic child. :
1) sing your fav. UK hits during music lesson.
2) squeeze your classmates' balls during recess to make sure they can catch your ball .
3) only work with the birds of the same feathers ( which is only you) during science practical.

Here are a few words from lim peh.

When in rome , do what the Roman does.
When in S'pore, talk how the singaporeans talk.

Announcement
DEserted forum drying up .

to all readers , are you curious about how birds fly? do you wanna know why gays are homo? Do you know the secret to genetically modified underwears?
here is what lim peh found for your doubts. Bio forum ( started last yr deserted last yr founded by Mr aurl ) can answer all your stupid nonsense. just visit http://groups.msn.com/unitybio
Lim peh will be there to help lost desert camel ,...see yah