Lim Pei Shitty Cock

2008-01-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

Lim Peh's countdown of the week ( maybe year)

LPSC may not sound as shitty dirty brutal trash as it is
LPSC can also stand for
1) Louisiana Public Service Commission
2) Liverpool Plains Shire Council
3) Liquid Propulsion Systems Centre
4) London Practical Shooting Club
5) Loretta Paganini School of Cooking
6) Lunar and Planetary Science Conference
7) Lewis Proton Shielding Code

Wa lau eh so much LPSC existed already??? guess we have to think of new creative terms liao =(

2007-05-13T14:07:00.000+08:00

sorry for the delay response

the reason why we didnt post any articles for 4 months is mainly because we didnt know the new account. But somebody finally, just, suddenly, miraculously found out that all the usernames of big cock , undies , turkey man and lim peh will be under the LPSC.co@gmail.com . so u guys please login using the gmail instead of ur crappy usernames.

also wanna thank the readers who post tasteless, vague," one word " comments in the tagboard , we appreciate ur patience and believe in LPSC.

stay tune for the new cockcast ( although i don't know what it is about ) as promised by turkeyman soon , i hope ......................... ..................

2006-12-29T11:30:00.000+08:00

LIM PEI is back from vacation !!

and realise that big cock , undies and turkeyman are not doing their jobs in LPSC!!!!!! what the fish is going on dudes !!! why stop ??? dont let our fellow fans and friends down after all the trouble of creating a blog with such a long name ! cmon fellows , wake ur bleeding ass up!!

ok ok i will start the ball rolling ........... by writing a letter to my brother santa

DEAR Santa CLaUS ,

how are u , i am fine. hope u rmbr lim peh and u still owe me $50 from me last yr to buy 4D in s'pore. lim peh ka le kong, dun think i rich ok? $ 50 still ,money leh!!! pls return ASAP when u fly here . I went everywhere on Xmas to find u leh from paris to berlin . Taipei to Beijing . dunno why evry Xmas looks the same to me. everytime go to my old folks home got volunteer come visit us like we old man very pathetic like . not to mention someone dressing up like u with the heavy thick cotton red cloth over his oversized unrealistic always fatty belly. where u buy the belt that fit ur waist eh? lim peh want to buy one for Miss V hehe . then Lim pei always get turkey and all sorts of crappy log cakes for xmas dinner . evry yr eat turkey , talk cock with people. on xmas . SIANZ.

i hope u understand my powderfulll England for i gotta warn u about coming here should decide to return my money

1) the gahmen
2) sarong party girls suspiciously near u
3) GST cheats
4) excessively decorated xmas trees that may blind ur ageing eyes haha
5) the formidable giant Miss V
6) 4 mill. ppl smiling at u for no whatsoever reason .
7) ur raindeer might land on esplanade aka durian shell
8) no chimney for u to sneak in soz
9) naughty chew-ren who will call u AH PUEY hehe
10) last but not least
AFTER EVERYTHING pls GET OUT OF MY " elite and uncaring face" pls

and i wish myself a happy new year . right a happy one . i think so.......................

2006-11-16T19:28:00.000+08:00

DON't Beat around the BUSH!!

today, President of USA , BUSH, visit S'pore . Today, i just realised that GST increase by 007% next year. TOday, I saw the the the CAsino royale 007 advertisement. WOW so much things happen during the O week . how come lim peh donch know??? i also donch know why.

but nebermind nah., the most importing is wondering where the extra 2% og GST ( ""good"" service tax? ) goes. does it really help the begga... i mean low income people???? OR is it to mark the new 007 movie with 007 % GST???

hmmmmmm . I suspect that the money may be hidden in a tunnel behind my toilet. just like there is a tunnel behind the cell in PRISON BREAK . So I go for another adventure .

day1
to remove a toilet bowl, i need to unscrew the screw , to unscrew i need a screwdriver. where can i find a decent SCrewdriver? hmmmm.................... i feel so screwed up.

day 2
i made a screwdriver by stealing a screwdriver from the construction site nearby. Made In China . don't know strong or not. nebermind lah. a lot of things also made in China. China also developing a lot. so quality should be good.

day 3
i started unscrewing my screwed screw . hoping that the haze and S'poreans' heck care attitude will cover my secret mission and overcome the gahmen's "Foresight " . they cant even takle the haze!

GREAT !!! toilet bowl removed! .............. no tunnel found. mission failed . GREAT. NOW I HAVE TO START FIXING THE TOILET BOWL BACK AGAIN.!!!!!! STUPID PRESON BREAK TEACH WRONG STUFF . I WILL NEBER TRUST THE MEDIA AGAIN EVER.

BUT !!! maybe i can learn a thing or two in CASINO ROYALEEEEEEEEEEEEE..........

wha i write so long ?

2006-09-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

Courts to review on sentencing guidelines

the Cock of justice wants to strike balance on punishing and rehabilitating offenders. it says " ...should hand down appropriate penalties, reform the criminal and reintegrate him to society" .

Offenders to be integrated must be minor such as spitting on a white man , destroying vandalism evidence, dirtying a pee aae pee white shirt , stealing money from charity funds, suicidal intention by buying Subutex. etc
Offenders must also have at least a N level cert, score
more than 20 points in L1R5 and been dropouts from 10 schools . ( not including Independence schools)

Instead of being punished, offenders will go through painful and long rehabilitation that will keep them from rotting in prison.
" Now , offenders can no longer be kept in jail, they shit around , crap a lot and F**** ing show attitude even after released." one of the officers said. " Thus, we should not only punish the offenders but to "rehabilitate " them as well "

Offenders can also now choose to go through a gruelling Survivor-like series of training in Pulau Ubin and other islands to have a taste of new prison life by the sea.

Rumours have it that the prisoners are not allowed to watch television recently ,especially after the opening of the new show " PRISON BREAK" .

Some prisons even increase their security level from a puny security camera to highly sensitive camera that can track down the movement of any individual with tattoo or piercings . " this new security can help to prevent anyone from escaping or saving his brother in prison.

Prisoners must also learn new skills while serving their sentence .
New courses available are:
Tattoo art ---- their favourite
piercing
Complete Idiot guide to obeying the law
boxing
licking
swallowing
advertising for products -- for 7-11 , NTUC, Giant, Isetan
advertising for campaignes --- No smoking, No Drug , No Fishing.

And most importantly , ...........SINGING.. so that they can reintegrate to society . see the link?? People tend to accept those who can sing and will go crazy about singers .. just like how Singapore Idol make telephone companies rich .

Quote : An apple a day keeps a doctor away , if the doctor is chio , throw the apple away .
If the doctor is gay , eat 2 apples a day.
GGG , 2080

2006-09-25T21:41:00.000+08:00

~~NEW 7-11 EMBASSADOR NAMED!!!!~~SINGAPORE IDOL NAMED!!!!!!! like i bloody hell care.

yah yah yah. hady wins. so what...its not like the world is going to achieve peace or something. just another dodo who gets famous for like 2 weeks and then dies down............WHO THEN RESORTS TO BLOODY 7-11 ADVERTISTMENTS TO PROMOTE YOURSELF!!!!
i bet you all have seen the 7-11 ad. its like this kid who was trying to bloody get a surpee to drink, but then taufica batusa grabs his cup to sign!!!

i bet the jonathan fans must be really really sad man... its like:

JON fan :"i've voted 287 times for you and spent my life long savings including my insurance and my coffin money also, why you never win?? why?? "

BIGc0ck:"thats because you are an idiot, you maniac."

what i really miss is JOAKIM. that clown really cracks me up man. holding his mike like hes looking into some gay telescope, and trying to 'please' his fans with his wierd singing. whats best about him, is his DIE HARD JOAKIM FANS. even like 10 million episodes after joakim is out they will still be wasting their 60cents typing useless shit messages and polluting the t.v screen.

bimbotic joakim fan 1: " joakim i miss you. you are so handsome. please come back"
bimbotic joakim fan 2 : "joakim....i so sad.....i like your singing........"

BIGc0ck: "_\_"

i also found a joakim album on the floor at geylang. it reads......

JOAKIM GOMEZZZ, niece of james gomezzz(the -Pee Aae Pee- one)

album name: I LOVE WANTONS

songs:
1) i sing bad
2)i sing badder
3)i sing baddest
4)i sing badder than baddest
5)my bimbotic fans
6)my dads an ang moh
7)i'm jealous of the janitor who sings better than me
8)WANTONS are my GAME

2006-09-22T13:50:00.000+08:00

Announcement .

DEserted forum drying up, but replenishing .

. to all readers , are you curious about how birds fly? do you wanna know why gays are homo? Do you know the secret to genetically modified underwears? here is what lim peh found for your doubts. Bio forum ( started last yr deserted last yr founded by Mr aurl ) can answer all your stupid nonsense. just visit http://groups.msn.com/unitybioLim peh will be there to help lost desert camel ,...see yah thats one thing to do this weekend of u are not happy with your bio results . HO She BO

2006-09-07T16:06:00.000+08:00

LETS GEMS; Go Eat My Shai!
“Oi, uncle, 1 chicken chop”
“Nah, $5 pls. “

“Huh? Why the chop so small today? Last time I buy the chop is bigger”

“Oh, no choice lah. Now got the IMF so must save the bigger chops for bigger guests. “

“ IMF ? ”
“ haven’t you heard ?? that one leh. got a lot of rich men and women coming to s’pore. the one locals call “ International Massive Freaks” ….. some more , less people want to eat western food now because PM Lee said “ Mee Siam Mai hum” so everyone want to eat Mee Siam with cockles . That PM Lee also damn creative siah. Mee Siam where got hum? Now, the Muslim food stall , rich like hell . you see the Indian food stall opposite? ever since the movie “ the Devil wears Prada ” now people think the devil eats prata. Now, Raju change hand phone more often than before lor. What a great investment”

LIKE I CARE! this guy is damn long winded and irritating. Not to mention that he tortured lim peh ‘s ears with his speech. Unfortunately, he was not the only one who is not happy with providing services. Many other service providers just frown too much. Mr Awanna Maney from Food Agriculture Congress -Union ( FAC-U) said “ so you see , people are too tired to give u pathetic fools a damn smile. They are saving energy to serve IMF people. Now get the hell out of here! ”

Even the old hag ,who specialized in photocopy worksheets, practice that.
LIM PEH
“ Oi women , 1 paper 2 sets .”

“ …………~,~ ……………………….zap………….zap………..zap………….zap”

“……………~,~………………..$1.53” LIFE STINKS

Rich Teacher
“ hey, 1 paper 46 sets”
“OKAY! NO PROBLEM!!! ZAP ZAP ZAP
HERE $90.54 PLEASE~! THANK YOU VERY MUCH PLEASE COME BACK AGAIN!”
You can almost see her eyes popped out and that rare smile. Sometimes, I wonder whether machines are more polite than us.

" wow ! everyone looks so happy! "

"thats because all the grumpy and defiant ass clowns are killed in the 1964 riots "

2006-09-01T18:48:00.000+08:00

NEWER THAN THE NEW THEME SONG!!!!!!!! EXTENDED VERSION!!!!!!!! NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW!!!!

LPSC ROCK THEME SONG

this song is featuring rugger.....AND IT ROCK ROCK ROCK! ok i think it rocks la. Don't know if you think so too. We recorded it at geylang Studios because the rates was cheapest there....so the quality is a bit screwed up. enjoy=)]

BTW, the new name for LPSC band is called......LP. not linkin park, not lim pei. it is...LADIES PRIORITY..yeah
vocalist - Rugger/ Turkeyman
Guitarist - Bigc0ck
drummer - Turkeyman
bass- THE PEANUT

2006-08-31T23:07:00.000+08:00

yooo...my apologies for not posting for so long...as you can see exams are near......

but just for your information, the LPSC crew have been coming up with new songs and stuff, and are in the process of making the songs...so TAKE NOTE =)

some of the songs in mind.....

1) Kaycee Chan (parody of Stacy's mom)
2)HX movie(currently unamed/i'm not sure of it) sound track
3)LPSC theme song (chinese ochestra, punk rock, indian style and MORE)

so stay tuned........................

2006-08-29T18:34:00.000+08:00

Celebration a fiasco

"oi why are u back !!@#%$^@$ " shouted lim pei

" yah lor , what u want!? " said the 2 birds, BigC0ck and turkeyman

" hey where's my kopi-O? " , asked undies.

a sudden breeze of coldness filled the air .................................. brrrrrr

"I cant see mars !! " cried GGG -------------* refer to july archives for more on GGG*

ALAMAK! bloody heaven!!! No Mars means that GGG stays for another thousand year. Grrrrr
" bohohohoho.................. sobx sobx.... No Mars ! Ramly lied us ! " cried GGG .

yah lor , ramly lied everyone leh, wahhh first time hear teacher lie seh . i neber thought that teachers have any sense of humour. MUST celebrate thiss in 31 August siah .
so no mars, lim peh didnt see any red ball up the sky so high like a balloon in the sky.
what a shameful way to see my money burn in the party .
so good news or BAD news, GGG is here to stay. bloody hell ....... sigh..

And yes operation NEW Horizon is true and happening , undergarments . NASA has sent a robot to Pluto to take pictures of everything there including Mr Kuiper's belt. sicko perverts are the NASA u might say .

2006-08-26T15:10:00.000+08:00

LPSC celebrates 27 th August!

THis week , people are going crazy about the last undiscovered frontier , SPACE.
People have been talking from the solar system to Mars and then pluto. whoaaaa .Speaking of mars, GGG will be getting ready to set off back to home on 27th August . " .....because Mars will be nearest to Earth on that day!" he/she said. He better made it to Mars , cause we don't want him for the next 1000 yrs on Earth,!!! ( * refer to june archives for more details about this abominable alien )
GGG said," I want to go home , GO home !!!! hurray MArs coming back for me!! " like real .
therefore , LPSC want everyone of you readers to give ur final farewell and flowers o GGG so that we can sent him home as soon as possible. u know what i mean?
LOOK INTO THE SKY AT 27TH AUGUST TO SEE GGG 'S ROCKET GOING TO THE RED BALL NEXT TO MOON AT 10PM FOR THE LAST TIME.

Quote from GGG " no one alive will ever see this again"
Huh??? what does" this " refer to ? GGG? or MARS?

Anyway ,some asked,"What happened to pluto? why is it 8 planets now ah? I thought got 9 leh?"
well, lim peh went to research. Maybe all of u should do ur own research.

But anyway, Pluto is no longer considered a planet. Some ppl even say pluto kenna collided with Neptune. NOOOOOOOOOO , this is untrue. Actually, the new definition, what ever it might mean, made pluto a dwarf planet . Thus, no longer a planet by itself.

" Long before ur time ah , Pluto was thought to be an escaped moon of Neptune leh, don play play " said Mr Twinkle Starrre , one of the many astronomy lunatic. " whaaa , now ah , Pluto from planet become dwarf . Stylo Milo siah!!! "

So are there anymore dwarf planets around .?
yes , lim peh checked on one of them. CERES . wherE? somewhere between mars and Jupiter.
it is very small . maybe like pluto. i dont give a damn.

SO what will NASA do about Pluto. ?

Since Pluto came into news media, Nasa started an operation to check on pluto.

OPERATION KAYPOH NEW HORIZON. check it out at Nasa website.

GOOD BYE GUNDU Gamma Gay ...... bloody son of a ....!

2006-08-24T18:05:00.000+08:00

COuntdown of The WeEk

Once again , Cowdung of the week is back! this week's cowdung is about 10 things what UNEMPLOYMENT will cause a person to do!

1) You will start to hang out in coffeeshop more often than ever
2) you become more aware of the gahmen policies
3) you start to spend more time on Internet
4) u may consider blogging
5) u start to criticise the gahmen and other sensitive issues in ur blog
6) u use stupid colours e.g. BROWN or other names e.g. kin mun for ur username to protect ur identity. GRRRRRRR....
( bloody hell use my name!!!)

7) u start podcasting about Bah Chor Mee and other irrelevent noodles
8) ur blog starts to get more popular and infamous
9) u start to worry about ur broadband and lawyers fees
10) u see urself ending up in the gahmen's national day speech.

Not so good huh......

Anyway, Teacher's Day is coming and lpsc will be talking about our t'chers throughout next week . Let us talk about our t'chers' weakness and personalities for t'chers day .
T'chers such as ,
Mrs Ram butan
Mr soooo KH .......
Mr Yappy yappy yap
Miss pearlyn lim perlyn lim puay lim L.
P .L .P. L. P
Mr Arul chndrn ai shey bui
and of course Mr ChewBAkar
and many many more ......

2006-08-20T17:38:00.000+08:00

YO. New cockcast: LPSC supermarket! we have our own supermarket? hmmm....

LPSC SUPERMARKET

****WARNING: this cockcast is highly retarded.*******

2006-08-20T00:06:00.000+08:00

yoooooooooo. this is BIGc0ck, and.........

today, we are talking about PROM. yes prom. not porn. not porn. NOT PORN. i'm sure most of you would know that we are having it at around november, after the 'o's....at FURAMA hotel. yes i've paid my 60 bucks.....but after i went there for a recky, i want my money back back......

so....i went to FURAMA hotel. the address which i took from barney the purple dinosaur says: "China Town street 23". so i headed there. guess what i saw.

my god. A hotel stuck between a coffeshop and a barbers? it was those kind where you had to enter a "secret stair case" to enter, where there is this metal gate which was locked by a super thick chain lock. low class. spirits doused by half, i decided to go in.

guess what i saw again.

REAL disappointing. WORKER'S QUARTERS???? and LOOK at the tables and chairs. AHHHHHHHH!!!! then, i went into the kitchen. haiz.

REAL FILTHY. banna skins, flies, rats everywhere. the COOKS CAN STILL PLAY MAJONG . you call this a HOTEL??

WHAT? vegetarian food?tofu? somemore got that stupid GAY wet tissue!!!!!!!!!!! but there is something worse.......

OMG. did the dirt just DISSOLVE in the soup served? **puke**

so with my recky results.....i conclude....DON'T GO PROM NITE!!!!! GET OUR MONEY BACK!!!

PROM NITE :
Please Return Our Money , Nothing Interesting To Enjoy

2006-08-16T18:38:00.000+08:00

the following news is purely untrue and any questions about the credibility will not be commented.
New Game in town

WOW: World of Warbala
From reliable sources , LPSC was informed that BLizzard and Microsoft are working together to create a brand new PC game that will rule the world. Game developer, Mr Harry Silverman, said that they will be coming up with a new idea in the game which will relate to the world events.
" there will also be better graphics and sound effects that you can imagine it is happening right now. !"

This new strategic game will only be available in 5 countries namely Isreal, Lebaneon, Sri Lanka, Ireland and East timor. " we will try to increase the no. of countries to buy this game, but at the meantime, it is useful for this 5 countries to try it first. Why? because the people there are generally more experienced and familiar with the game. Game is still under development. " said the Head of the Collaboration team.

Miss Ang Gu Kui , one of the many Game Designers involved , hinted " there will be unique characters with special powers in the game. It 's gonna be bigger , and better.!"
Hero 1
O'Sammy bin ladder - the prominent figure related by many to terrorism cases.
ability- to summon blind wolverines who kill anyone they hear even if they cant see them .

Hero 2
p_UN_k-- You don't wanna mess with this guy
ability -- sent paratroopers( 1 hr later) to conflicted area. they are specialised to cease fire and peace keeping
-- sent aids to injured troops for free ( also 1 hr later)

Hero 3
Rajumnak hfoahfio son of bala --- mysterious black dark person who tries to split a country into half .
ability? - summon Tigers to assist his confrontation .
- convert civilians into suicide bombers.

Hero 4
Catholic- tic_ con verters - -- you son of a b****!
ability- summon masked Riders who can ride on any mobile objects and attack any civilians in sight.
- espcially aggressive to the anyone who go against them. !!

so there may be many other heroes in the game. " Names of the groups have not been decided yet due to game complictations ." More countries will get to play the game if the reactions are good.

" there will be scenarios such as the Water supplies, the 2 kidnapped soldiers and optional quests like Bloody Moonday and Tigers on the loss" said Miss Ang.
Teen Gamer in Sri lanka , Bala-4_life '" the game is great, the graphics are not only Fantastic, the sound effect is soooo real. you can even hear the explosions a distance away"
For more deatails please visit http://www.

Lim peh: so what makes you think of such ideas?
Developer: well , basically , we want to put in some real- life ass kicking actions for the young generation to enjoy and have fun. we will keep it as non-fiction as possible. But ,sorry . NO undead, No nightelves and NO orcs!!!!
lim peh: do you have anything else to add on?
Developer: Jiak Bah Bueh?
lim peh: simme dai ji !?!!?
Developer: neber mind.

2006-08-16T15:18:00.000+08:00

My BEST friend recently asked me this interesting question......

IF your house suddenly catches fire and is burning like hell, what 5 things would you bring along with you to escape?

there were many answers......but there was this strange likenesses to some answers......

today...i figured it out...and i categorized it into 2 groups. male and female.

FEMALE:
1)pad
2)mp3
3)clothes
4) hair band
5)handphone

sounds pretty normal right.....so here are the GUYS

MALE:
1)porn cd
2)porn cd
3)porn cd
4)porn cd
5)porn cd

2006-08-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

FIRE THAT WORKS!!!!! YeAhzZzZzZ!!! kEkEzZz

wooohhoooo this is BIGc0ck and today.....i'm goin to tell a story......................

kEkEzZzZ! WhEe NoWx aTz MaRiNa SoUtH! kEkEz!!

so we went to marina south to watch the fire works........and man....there were like 60 million people there man.

so we went there to.........ACT TWIT!!!!!

KeKezz! OuRz FwInGLEs! ToGeThEr As OwNE!

lOoRk iN dUh SkRy! iRtS oWr pWiNcE! i Lubz StArZ!

kEke! OuR JiEmUi LeGz! ShoO sHeXy!
wHe ArE dEsTiNeD tHu MwEeT.

WaH sHo PrEtTyZ! fWiRe WoRkS rOxx!!

yeah. that was basically it. i don't know why we did this crap....i guess we had too much potatoes. oh well. hahaha. there were lots of **** **s there also. Me and turkeyMan see until NOSE BLEED.

BTW...how were the clips me and turkeyman made???

for your info, the theme song was made with no script. we just sang what we thought. the clip you heard are the first recordings. no 2nd takes. COOL HUH. YEAH. we've got more COCKcasts coming up....including : LPSC idol, singrish, LPSC supermarket, and MORE!!!!!! so get yourself a nice piece of hamburger bread to blow your nose with, sit back, relax, and we shall BRING YOU ALL THE CRAP IN THE WORLD!!!!!

2006-08-13T12:51:00.000+08:00

last week, UNDIES received a phone call from LPSC's best friend Mr Exemplar. and he requested for me to help him with the production of his home-made movie. he needed a cameraman and a director. hahah i was so damn honoured!

it's only 22 seconds. but that's my very first production too, so spare me. call it a sneak preview, perhaps. you can watch it at http://www.mr-exemplar.blogspot.com/

Starring: HX Chong, CS Ee Sound Effect: YX Tan
Director: UNDIES Cameraman: UNDIES
Subtitles: HX Chong

Final Mafia MP4 (3.5mb)
(you may need to tune up your computer volume)

one thing i dont understand. why is it A CHX PRODUCTION when UNDIES is the director? =/

and hey. LPSC has decided to use Fileden to host our COCKCAST, so right now there shouldnt be any problem downloading them. but please do not mind the slow streaming speed. thank you peeps (:

2006-08-12T19:42:00.000+08:00

ASK Father's Cock

once again, welcome back to Ask Father's Cock section. hope you people doing well . like i care

anyway , lets get straigt to the letter.

Dear Lspc,
there is war happening now. i am sure u all know. i am afraid that that that more wars will be coming. will there be a nuclear war? how do we know when it comes? what are the consequences? will the United Nations protect us from a nuclear war?

pls help.
rag and bone man

dear rag and bone man,
ehhhhhhh.......... i don't know . maybe you should go ahead and ask the UN administrator about a nuclear war.i am sure u will find the answer there but not here dude. i am not gonna ask for you and i don't care. and i dont give a damn..................... thank you very much. = } btw i have some newspaper to sell.

Source B

Ozymandlas *:" Look at my works, ye mighty , and despair!!! . HAHAHA . Cough . "

Now infer that! Mrs Ram! ( 12)

*ozymandlas refers to an ancient group of people who overestimated their abitlity and challenged the god on their " mighty" works which in the end , their works became corroded, broken and destroyed.

2006-08-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

Yooooo people! UNDIES' representing LPSC, to advertise our lastest product that is already available, not storewide, but only in LPSC Supermarket and LPSCmerchandise.com .

KROO KROO SHAMPOOOOO!!

THAT'S RIGHT! the picture says a million words! but here's an audio advertisement for this product. hope you'll like it peeps!

KROO KROO SHAMPOO

purchase your own Kroo Kroo Shampoo, and share a STANDING experience with Xiaohua!!

yes you've guessed it. this is our debut of THE COCKCAST!!

and oh our dear Discipline Master, you would love to have something like this (: . trust me.

OHH an addon! some of our die-hard fans have managed to download LPSC's Theme Song, but has totally no idea what the chicken is saying. okay your so-ever kind UNDIES is here to provide you with the lyrics!

LPSC Theme Song by BIGc0ck and turkeyMAN

LPSC
you're the one i need
Together we will love
I saw the dream
Together we laugh together

one day
i open the computer
open the internet connection
i type www.limpeishittycock.blogspot.com
i saw four characters
turkeyMAN Limpeh UNDIES and BIGc0ck oh
i look at their
silly and funny things oh yeah

and oh
i want to be with them oh oh
nobody's this funny, man
i wanna be with LPSC
be with LPSC
LPSC

i hear applause! though the lyrics are total crap. hahaha. but that's LPSC man; we only crap, crap, and crap!

okay geocities sucks like hell. the hourly transfer limit screws up our business. some readers have also complained that they cant download the COCKCASTs due to our exceeded transfer limit. or is it just that we have too many supporters? HAHAH it's the latter, i know. but well, i do hope you loyal readers can introduce LPSC some music hoster sites, with EFFICIENT and FAST download/upload speed, and WITHOUT bandwith limitations. then we can ensure that all of you can download the COCKCASTs we have provided for you peeps!

thank you all. LPSC loves you to the FU*KING CORE.

2006-08-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

GET YOUR RECORDS ON!!!!

all right have you realised something about singapore? Its about record breaking. yes singapore does have its share in record breaking....but....the thing is.....all our records SUCK.

lets see if i can remember any.....

oh ya, the SMS one. this lady broke the world record for fastest SMS typer. i mean what the hell. there was also this don't know what longest cake.....longest string of roller bladers.....largest jigsaw puzzles......most people eating some sushi......I CAN't TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!

FACE IT. WE ARE BREAKING RECORDS THAT NO ONE HAS EVER EVEN THOUGHT OF. and if you are wondering why these records haven't been broken yet...ITS BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THIS BLOODY REDUNDANT RECORDS.

while other countries break nice records like "fastest motorcycle run", "most expensive jewelery", "ground breaking technologies on ROBOTS, GUNS, MACHINES", "largest tanks ever built", "fastest rapper", WE are still at pitiful "most muffins we can hide in our pants" AND "how much toothpaste one can use"

looking at japan again creating the world's most smartest robot, and singapore creating the world's largest tub of coconut juice, i can't help but to look away. soon, after one or two months, theres going to be "the worlds longest queue at the char kuay teow stall". real sad.

not to douse any high spirits during this national day, i just feel that singapore should get some REAL records on. i guess that'll be in like AD. 2650, when the USA are REALLY sincere about peace. or when "she" really sells all her seashells at the seashore. or when BEN the astronaut finds a peanut in his ear.

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!! =)

2006-08-08T12:12:00.000+08:00

This national day, lets not just sit at the sofa and watch TV. Lets do something Uniquely singapore like preserve our local indigenous wild life ,the Brown elephant.

Source A ( a picture drawn by a cockster cartoonist)

what can we bloody infer? ( 5)

Allow FREEDOM OF SPeECH !!!!! dun let it be endangered. and not to forget the local COckians . save them too.! what is more unique than to have our native style of communication ? cmon, lets promote uniquely Singapore in a unique way the Gahmen havent thought about!!!

also, not to mention , we must conserve our very own Kiasu nautical syndrome (KNS) which no
one foreigners can get it besides us . KNS has obviously benefitted our lives for 41 yrs! KNS is what brings about the success in S'pore. donch yah think so?

and last but not least, our very own Singlish must not disappear because it is our very own way of language. you see, we can made full use of it when we do not want tourists to understand what we are talking, like SARS, terrorists, where to get the best sale, and even SEVEN.
we can use Singlish as a code in war, so that ang moh spies will neber succeed in their secret mission/ we talk cheong hay stuff in front of foreigners and they will pretend to understand everything hahahahaha.

SO lets stand up for singapore because Singapore is our homeland , it is a place where we belong!
If not for the Unique characters if Singaporeans, sooner or later, most youth will leave S'pore and we will lose our local talent pool. So......... good luck ,GAHMEN!

2006-08-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

This is BIGcock!!!!! woah. undies's post was exhilarating! cyber sex is such a idiotic thing to do. today, i'll post something more related to our lives....

IDOL MANIA!!!!

recently, you have seen many tv shows on idolism, like "superband","singapore idol", "don't know what superstar thing", there was even this "school superstar thing" happening. i mean like what the hell dude. call by call, sms by sms, we're giving away our hard earned money to them. its like singtell haven't got enough money.

yes...they are talented...they are chio...they are nice...blahblahblah. but think about it. why are we giving our 60cents to those singtell people who probably have enough wealth to get two bungalow houses by now. i rather take that sixty cents and get a nice cup of ice milo and chill out.

they say..."its like a dream come true...i'm so HAPPY!!! i'm so happy that i can perform on stage again!!!" hey, let me ask you something. when was the last time you seen the idols on stage? since the programme itself?

yes yes i have seen some of them though.....but.....

TAUFIK: wah sing song so nice ah. what did he end up as? 7-11 promoter. wow. really a DREAM COME TRUE.

Daphne Khoo: wah so chio ah. ended up as a KIDCENTRAL singer. man. well good luck daphne. i'm sure the kids will love you.

slyvester sim: one time i saw him on the streets, begging for someone to ask for his autograph. BEGGING, i emphasize.

others: ocasionally appeared in some low viewership 30 minutes food show, or some event, where they just stand there and act like they've got $20 to eat.

you see? what happened to all the dreams? crushed like a cockroach and throwned into the bin. and where did your money go? into the producers and call service centre's BIG POCKETS. i bet they must be enjoying their life at hawaii or something.

but what i hate the most....is the one where you send you good wishes through the sms, which appears at the screen, that one is the most idiotic of all. it makes no sense. you give your best wishes to who? the idols. but where are they? performing. so who are you sending your best wishes to? the idol's mothers.

------------------------------------END-------------------------------------------------------

since undies posted a video...i'll like to show this video too. i found it youtube....its on "learning hokkien profanities". its to people like "you-know-who", who are clueless with hokkien.

**beware of vulgarities. please do not play the video, then get offended, then try to sue us. **

well? how was it? hope it helped =)

2006-08-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

LIM peh ka le kong ! wow I have to agree that ppl are going mad this days about dream-come-through- idols. Lim peh also have his own idol!!! he is

""MR A**********N ""

If u still don't who i am refering to . here is a hint . he have a distinct interest about hokkien language and he likes to mix it with chinese. he will use it whenever he wants and i like that. FREEDOM OF LANGUAGES. cool huh( ok not so cool)

here are some common things he will say/do:

1) "Siao jie ,! kuai dian nah"

2) "ho she bo"

3) "aye sai buey/ tio bo?"

4) "Ask, and thou shall be enlightened"

5) the"thumbs up " dance

6) doing weird stretching exercise during class

6) playing with his mustache

7) slaming his textbook on the table and punching it

8) singing old Bee Gee's songs

9) and more nonsenses

okay i guess those in the school will know who he is now !

2006-08-05T16:06:00.000+08:00

THE FOLLOWING TOPIC IS RATED R FOR ITS CONTENT.

hahha UNDIES' feeling dirty today! and today's topic is definitely as dirty.

"CYBER SEX"

well, it has been real common these days, and i just dont understand what's so facinating about it. it's clueless masturb*ting upon something behind the screen. what's so much better than LIVE! it's not as if you need to subscribe to Starhub SCV, nor you need to tune in to HBO every midnights to watch hot sex. all you need to do is to bring a bitch home.

surely teens use the Internet and Messenger in particular to discuss sex all the time and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you take the necessary precautions, like "don't turn your webcam on", "don't send revealing pictures of yourself", and mom's golden oldie "don't talk to strangers". Though, that last advice is negotiable, because recently the Teen Sex Information Program has trained trustworthy teen volunteers to answer their peers's questions about sexual health, puberty, relationships and safer sex options via Messenger. but who gives a damn?

what's with Habbo Hotel these days? from a friendly controllable friendster-like stimulator into a filthy sex club where despos hook up unknown creatures behind the monitor. even the harmless RPG Maple Story is getting outrageous with "maple steads". what rubbish! even in web cams, where people start getting into orgasms over the other recipients' nude bodies, and later troubling their poor mamas in washing up the sticky mass squirted on the computer screen. everything about cyber sex is making traditional sex degrade into a horribly horribly low level (oh well unless the other party is your boyfriend/girlfriend =/). make FULL use of your bed, c'mon!!

oh well, it's just the nature of fulfilling one's sexual fantasies. they cant bring a pussy home, and they will attempt to mate strangers online.

okay at least it's much better than meeting them up personally. but it's equally dumb to circulate your cocks and pussies out to the unknown world! dont argue by saying that you can choose not to reveal your face online; it's also as humiliating to accept the fact that your nehnehs and kukus are being viewed by the millions online.

now wouldn't that be great, you think? :D

okay teenagers, i know you're underaged and you cant possibly bring a bitch to your bed. just hold on to your fantasies, focus on your Mathematics and wait till you reach the legal age! why bore yourself with cyber sex?

for grown men who do that, it's GREATER shame on you! you can have sex even without a condom, why bother to lose your tadpoles to someone online? RAH. for grown women, just dont be so grumpy over choosing your sex partners, and you can enjoy hot tasty cocks.

enjoy the traditional sex life. it's more realistic and more ENJOYABLE :D.

2006-08-05T12:13:00.000+08:00

COuntdown of the week

this week lim pei focus on the all time fav. Harry potter .
after discussing with J.K .R . we come up with 10 brilliant ideas for the next harry potter book .

1) Harry potter and the slim shaddy
2) Harry potter learns to rock
3) harry potter and his first world tour
4) harry potter visits S'pore
5) harry potter and his new secretary
6) harry potter learns to flirt
7) harry potter and his shotgun marriage
8) harry potter turns bankrupt
9) harry potter catchs no balls
10) harry potter and LSPC

2006-08-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

today...i shall talk about the deepest of corruption....the evil minds that caused students so much harm....corruption indeed....

i'm talking about the STUDENT COUNCILLORS.(for people who are not in our school, student councillors are prefects, just...glorified. the student councillors are famous for their unjust arrests of many students....this is their logo..

why do i say they're corrupted? well this is why......
characters:
ZL: head of the SC, well known for his blackmail and his sadistic laughter, and his pervertness. below is his picture.

Student Councillors 3-100（SC 3-100): the slaves of student councillors. all girls(pretty ones, i might say). famous for their slothful acts, and excellent ability to gossip and flirt.

SC 1 and SC 2: well trained minions of the clan. extremly loyal to the SC. BODYguards for ZL. they perform tasks including assasination for ZL. below, is SC1

CHEW: an ally of the student councillors. aid SC by caning pupils(using: THE RATTAN) that have done wrong. famous for his bald head. it was rumoured that he lost his hair when he participated in the battle of komuich in 1972, where he tripped and almost fell into an acid pond. everything except his hair was fine. shown below, is THE RATTAN.

Chuck Norris : an award winning buffed up karate master, who personally trained SC 1 and SC 2. he lost his left testicle called jupiter during a fight with wolverine. chuck norris is shown below.

-------------------------------STORY-------------------------------------------------------

student: wah lao i'm late!
ZL: stop!
student: please let me go in..please.
ZL: i will let you go in, if you pay me $200 and buy me some twisties.
student: but i don't have so much money........
ZL: fine. you had your chance. SC1 and SC2.......

******SC1 and 2 takes student away********

**NEXT DAY***
CHEW : this student has commited a very serious offence, which disgrace his father, mother and ancestors. the president of the SC told me that this student has tried to extort $200 and a packet of twisties from him, and even tried to rape an innocent fish. he shall be given, two strokes of THE RATTAN!!!!!!

**WHIP! WHIP!!**

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
one day....
**ZL walking, a student accidently stepped on his shoe**

ZL: oi you @ss C!own! why you step on my shoe?? !@$%&&(*()%)GGMHSDFYDHDH%#$^.
student: sorry sorry sorry, please don't hurt me...
ZL: u find me 10 girlfriends for me in 20 minutes, i won't hurt you.
students: okok

**student finds 19 girlfriends in 20 mins***

ZL: you failed. SC1 and SC2.....
student: no....no......no.........

**SC1 and 2 takes student away**

***NEXT DAY*****

CHEW: this student has commited a very serious offence which disgrace his parents, and ancestors. he tried to molest 19 girls, and even accused ZL for setting him up. for this, five strokes of THE RATTAN!!!!!

WHIPPPP!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SEC 1 orientation camp.......
you don't wanna know......

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

theses are only the few of the many atrocities that the the SC had done......

when will we ever face the truth....when will we ever be liberated? only time will tell..............

-------------------------------------END-------------------------------------------------

2006-08-04T19:13:00.000+08:00

Pupils disappointed by Felix's visit

Lim peh Ka le Kong, while the rest of LPSC ( and many of the supporters) are at "war" with unidentified flamers , flooding the tagboard with insults and fires, Lim pei keeps himself busy by attending the events of Library Week .

One of them is the Felix's visit. Ever since Felix (the writer cum journalists cum thief cum local micheal jackson cum child molester cum gay) , visited our school, lim pei see pupils starting to frown and puke . This could be unhealthy to the 4 million smile project.

One of the many who attended, pupil miss Pand Sai , says, " I though felix was a cat but it turned out to be a filthy, disgusting gay out of no where .

however, they are supporters who go crazy about Felix. GGG , which shockingly appers to be one , said, " He is soooooxxx cutexxxx and i wanna hugxxx , kiss kiss and gay with him! but ..... he just smiled tooooo much . "

When Interviewed, Felix said," i am so happy and gay that there are so many male pupils attending my talks" and" ....... my latest books to be published in 2808 are '''' How can cats be gay'"" and """ know your pussy well version SEVEN "

hey why seven?

also , posters with his smiley gay face is still around even after the talks . KNN I had nightmares about LIBRARY WEEK then.

and now for Betcha didnt know!

lim pei betcha didnt know that the most dirtiest , filthiest thing after Money is actually .............................................. HANDPHONE. imagine u use it everyday, wiping all the germs more than those found in toilet bowl sits onto your face. YYYEEEWWW . Because research has shown that the heat generated by the handphone encourages growth of bacteria. thus handphone is the most dirtiest breeding ground for germs. HAHAHA now do u dare to use yah handphone.

and now for Crap song of the week .

Contributed by " oh dear i am dancing in cyclone!"

reload reload ur rifle
bush say bush say no rifle
throw a missile up so high
like a seven in the sky

twinkle twinkle little star s
how ja wonder what yah are.

OKAy that dont make sense.

Quotte of the week . by william COCKsby

cutting your fingernails will shorten your memory

so remember this phrase when u cut your nails.

stay tune next time for COUNTDOWN OF THE WEEK

2006-08-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

this is bigc0ck. and yes i am ANNOYED. seven. i guess your eyes are not really nonfunctional but didn't you see the DISCLAIMER? or maybe you just couldn't read stuff that doesn't comply with your stupid actions.

you see, seven, what makes you different from a cow? its not that diminutive nipples you have, nor your revoltingly smelly hair. so what makes you different? COWS HAVE MORE FLEAS THAN THE AMOUNT OF SEMEN YOU COULD EVER HAVE IN YOUR NUTS.

u say you like laughing at stupid people. and you think our blog is stupid. ok lets think backwards. isn't someone who goes into unknown blogs and starts laughing at stupid stuff they write STUPID AS WELL? IRONIC HUH.. so....lets see....you, having surfed too much porn that you got sick of it, were so bored that you came in to our blog and started to flame us for being lame and crappy. so you think we are unfunny and stupid. well guess what SEVEN. you can jolly well take your ass out of our blog and go to websites like barney or some other kid shit. YOU'LL LOVE IT. its not lame, its educational, and most importantly, its FUNNY. ha.ha.ha.

you say: "WAH! merger? you think you are at war with malaysia is it?" hey tinkle bells, haven't you heard of METAPHORS(in case you don't know the meaning :A figure of speech in which an expression is used to refer to something that it does not literally denote in order to suggest a similarity) good enough for your "reasoning"?

you also say: "meaningless online squabbles" . WHO IS LPSC QUARRELING WITH?? the flower? the ball-point pen? oh ya, i forgot, its SEVEN. it takes two hands to clap, seven. think about it. you go into other people's blogs to quarrel. and you think quarreling is meaningless. THEN WHAT THE ~~FUCK~~ HELL ARE YOU DOING NOW? stop contradicting yourself seven.

one more thing. you say that we don't have things to write about if no one flames us, and you are generously making yourself useful by keeping us busy. **claps** HOW GENEROUS seven. i bet SIX and EIGHT weren't as bighearted than you. but wait. listen well SEVEN. only 7 out of 53 posts we posted ARE RELATED TO BAKA. and that makes 13.20754717% of it. so, what makes you think that? OH YA. I FORGOT. SEVEN DOESN'T ACCEPT THINGS THAT DOESN'T COMPLY WITH HIS ACTIONS. OOPS. well sorry i guess. WELL FACE THE TRUTH SEVEN. you SUCK and you know it.

MAKING ENOUGH SENSE SEVEN?

"get yourself a girlfriend or a dog or something, loser" you say. well seven. GET A LIFE, spoon head. get yourself a vcd and just start killing time by watching "da chang jin" or some other eucational shows. you can also try promoting condoms(although you don't really have what it takes, but you can try). thats better than flaming us. i mean, whats more retarded than a person sitting at home waiting for a post to appear so that he can laugh boisterously at it? oh the irony.

ONE MORE BLOODY THING.

ECE :"I know lpsc nv ask them to do this, but these actions are giving a bad image to lpsc. As if they are afraid of competition so they use this kind of method to get rid of us. If u all support lpsc, then stop doing this. This makes lpsc a loser, a coward. I'm sorry to the members of lpsc, but I really have to say this. These people are giving you all a really bad image"

ECE:If you think by using this method you can get rid of ECE, haha you are wrong man. We are not born yestersay. We know what you monkeys are thinking. Sorry for naming you all as monkeys, but don't you all argee?

hey ECE, we did not ask these shitbags to do this. i know u said that we didn't. but whats with this? "that makes lpsc a loser, a coward" ,"if you think by using this method you can get rid of ECE" since you know that we didn't get these people to do this, then WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS? PLEASE. again, stop contradicting yourself like seven. let me GET THIS STRAIGHT ACROSS. WE ARE NOT AFRAID OF YOU, SO WE WILL NOT MAKE ANY ATTEMPTS TO CUT YOU DOWN. STOP DOING THIS. stop saying thats its not our fault then for god-knows-what reason SHOOT US BACK.

2006-08-02T21:14:00.000+08:00

hahah UNDIES' posting again for i-dont-know-what-reason.
SEVEN
oh okay, it's about odd numbers. what's about them? they are odd, and they are usually used oddly by odd people.
IS
'oddly used' means to misusingly misuse something usable. such a behavior really ruins the beauty of Mathematics and figures.
A
yet there's always a black sheep who trys to be unique. it calls itself seven.
FUCKING
i dont know why. why seven? seven's boyfriend dumped it at 7th July? or seven's mother committed suicide at 7:07:07pm because seven has abnormal 7 pairs of nipples on its fake bosom? i dont know.
JERK
but anyway. it baa-baas its way here without bringing any threat. so i guess it can be LPSC's newest friend! oh come on, it isnt baka. its our friend, real friend :D. we really welcome you to come here and ask for more milk! and of course, we need your pubic wool in return for the constant upgrading of UNDIES.
WHORE
oh that sheep stated that we are wrong to rebut baka, when he/she/it was the one who discriminated us first. if that's the case, then OKAY LOR. DOWAN THEN DOWAN LOR. *i hear distant boos*. sigh sorry fans, i guess we will have to brainstorm just for another millisecond for new ideas to replace baka. LPSC is guilty (not really lah) for discriminating baka for the past month, and we hereby spit our apologies at baka's face. LPSC also promises that this blog will not only be clean-and-green, but it will also be insult-free from today onwards. *more boos*. we also show our warmest gratitude to seven for visiting us everyday to pinpoint the punier-than-minor mistake LPSC has committed. we also feel apologetic for making you stomp your hoofs on the keyboard everyday for us. thank you seven! *louder boos*. yea fuck you.
WHO
okay and i promise this will be my very last post about our dear baa-baa black shit and baka. but most probably our so ever hot-tempered BIGc0ck will make a follow-up on his own. other than that, UNDIES promises that he will do nothing else but lame shit only. so sorry fans ): it's wrong to discriminate people, you know? UNDIES will need to re-plan the schedules for The Cotton Crap so as to "make sense". so stayed tuned fans!
FUCKS
i was crossing my fingers.
MOTHERS

2006-08-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

just as brother lim peh posted a magnificent entry about Ang Moh Lang (it's real, this native speaker really emailed us!), UNDIES' here to make things clear to everyone about certain irritating issues.

what's the issue huh? this righteous-wannabe bombarded LPSC indirectly at ECE's tagboard, stating that we are kids to form factions with ECE to "defeat baka".

alright. let LPSC make this straight to all: we are NOT "teaming up" with ECE to "defeat baka". baka is LPSC's main attention, and i believe our 2 cents can handle him/her/it well enough. we are not gonna seek for help, nor we have sought for any. after all, what else can baka do other than yadayada with his/her/its poor-like-shit dialect? it's not as if we are so pathetically unable to spoof the pathetically pathetic elephant ourselves. further more, baka's OUR issue, baka did not disturb ECE in any way. so who in the loo has decided the co-operation of ECE and LPSC to "defeat baka"? LPSC didnt, period.

and who says we are "defeating" baka? we are trying to play with the identity 'baka' instead. LPSC's life has been pretty interesting because of that new character. not only that, our loyal fans like it. come on, isnt it so hilarious to see this low-down faggot frequently visit our friendly blog and say nothing but clueless hokkien? even some of our fans think baka sucks.

isnt it better this way? ECE shall go on with their own programme schedules for their readers, while we do our's ourselves. after all, ECE titled this as a competition. so, what's the helping-hands applied here for?

but most importantly, ECE is not our enemy. it's just like the relationship between Darlie and Colgate.

so ladies and gentlemen. i hope your misconception of the so-called merger has been cleared upon this entry. please continue to show us your support by frequently visiting us for more craps and leaving us a tag! my regards again, THANK YOU READERS :D.

word.

2006-08-01T18:03:00.000+08:00

ASK my Father's COCK no offense this is the name of the programme

This week lim peh got a letter from a 15 year old boy about his problem with Standard English

Dear LPSC,

I am a native speaker of English. I took great umbrage to people who don't speak English in the proper way. which makes up 99.999999999999999 % . and i got sick of speaking Standard English as no one understand my talk. CReme of the creme . or coup de grace.

First, I take utmost disgrace for my fellow peers who fail to understand what i am saying. In reply, they spouted some Hokkien words at me like " ***********" (censored) this absurd behaviour is not acceptable. Everyone just don't understand. They can only know what is "lehs , lahs andmehs" . i have serious communication problem.

Even the teachers have difficulty, whenever i asked a question, they would flip their DICT. to make out what i was trying to say. but even then, they still cant answer my doubts . when i say i catch no ball, they thought i am gonna grab their balls. thus i was slapped .

Durin recess, i find it hard to order simple food. Cant the vendors understand what is chinese noodle with extra minced pork and green vegetables with extra gravy?????

What shoulld i do?? pls help

Mr Ang Moh lang

DEar Mr Ang,

Lim peh says , I doncht noe what your England is about. i wonder why ur inglish so lousy . lim peh also catch none of your balls. pls lah speak in our native way for sake of everyone.
Lim peh also interviewed some of the teachers.

Maths Teacher, Mr singh inglish said, " wah lao , his england very tokong leh. si beh chim sia. damn even me also grab no balls "

English Teacher says," He is one of the very few problematic students in our school. NOw every teachers are required to bring their pocket Dict.s to school .".

Here are some suggestions by lim peh for you problematic child. :
1) sing your fav. UK hits during music lesson.
2) squeeze your classmates' balls during recess to make sure they can catch your ball .
3) only work with the birds of the same feathers ( which is only you) during science practical.

Here are a few words from lim peh.

When in rome , do what the Roman does.
When in S'pore, talk how the singaporeans talk.

Announcement
DEserted forum drying up .

to all readers , are you curious about how birds fly? do you wanna know why gays are homo? Do you know the secret to genetically modified underwears?
here is what lim peh found for your doubts. Bio forum ( started last yr deserted last yr founded by Mr aurl ) can answer all your stupid nonsense. just visit http://groups.msn.com/unitybio
Lim peh will be there to help lost desert camel ,...see yah

2006-07-30T20:12:00.000+08:00

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YO. THIS IS BIGCOCK, THE ONLY COCK WITH A TRANSLOCATED GENE FROM A HUMAN. (i'm unbelievably 50.351963497% human. so i'm more on the human side. so don't worry that i will blab like a chicken. i'm human. i'm human)

today...i'm posting LONG and i mean LONG.(wah so bright!!!)

UPDATES!

1)baka is back AGAIN, and everyone knows it. how do you know that we are not funny? then why do you keep coming? this means that you think that we are funny but u do not want us to know that you think that we are funny so you try to act like we're not funny so that all of us will think that you are not funny..but the thing is, we know that you know that we know that you think that we are funny yet you say that we are funny and that we like a pencil.

lalala -- bohochio ah---guai lan ah--- is this the only bloody words you know? oh ya i forgot, transexual elephants that got shipped in from thailand aren't supposed to know much. you must have learnt this few words from the hokkien caretaker. well thats sad. you can try attending : "how to scold people intellectually" or "how to differentiate using the same words to scold people, from how to act a retard."

2)from today onwards, LPSC goes "CLEAN AND GREEN". this means that no vulgarities will be used. why we're doing this...lets just say we recieved complaints. but anyways, remember that all posts starting from today...will be categorized NON VULGAR!!!

3)we have competition. http://www.extreme-crappy-entertainment.blogspot.com/. i would say competition is good, because it keeps LPSC on its toes to give you better crap. so....fight on.. but..i just wanted to make it clear to ECE, that we did not reject you joining our team because we look down on you. its just that LPSC has enough members for now. so please understand.

4) oops don't have liao. pai seh.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, its SINGAPORE IDLE!!!!!!

yeah!!!!!!like i care.

*****NOTE: comments on certain idols maybe offensive to some. if you do not want to risk yourself going to your toilet and cry and using potato chips to wipe your teamrs...please go no further*******

GURMEET 唱歌(singh)---the ageing pervent who trys to molest everyone on national t.v. . he tries to touch everybody la! like when one person are out, he would generously "lend out his shoulders" to comfort that person. he would also lend out his HANDS.

LANJIAOLEE---sissy man. ageing too.has no dick, suprisingly.

KENNifer -- never smiled in his life. has nothing good to say.

PAUL 两座山--flea infested hair with badly done braces.

MAT TILL DA -- indian auntie ready to go to NTUC to shop for "fresh fresh roti prata"

JOE KIMberly -- a flat toned monkey with an outdated keyboard.

JAYtheGAY -- i have nothing to say...but he looks more like a drug addict. eee.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

recently, i visited turkeyman's home town tokong planet...i saw this funny advertistments there about its local army....the SAF. not singapore arm forces....it is the Super Anal Fruitcake.

the advertistment goes....

SAF air --- ABOVE ALL (sounds right..)
SAF sea --- UNDER ALL (huh?)
SAF land --- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE(right..)

they also broadcasted this advertistments.....there was this little building(probably a gambling den), where they sent over 700men, 400 tanks, 55 artillery, 70 helicopters, and one muffin to destroy it. hmmmm....a bit funny eh. so much effort for a gambling den that probably contains only two 59 year old farts. those gamblers in the den must be scared stiff!

gambler1: eh u want to go toilet a not?
gambler2: ok ok.
*****DOOR BREAKS OPEN*****
soldier: FREEZE OR WE WILL SHOOT!
muffin: YEAH DON'T MOVE!!
gambler1: okok don't shoot me! don't shoot me!
soldier: we got 669men, 400 tanks, 55 artillery, 70 helicopters, and no muffins outside so don't try anything funny!
gambler2: but theres only two of us in here...
-------------------------------------END----------------------------------------------

ok la so its not really long. haha. thanks for all the good peeps who supports us....and thanks BAKA too...for making my life a bit more interesting. i mean....whats better than have a cretin who tries really hard to speak good hokkien, trying his/her/its best to annoy you, but it just doesn't work? DAMN IT FEELS GOOD

RANDOM ADVERTISTMENTS

DENG DENG CHICKEN ESSENCE

COCKSBY HAIR WAX

2006-07-30T18:15:00.001+08:00

MR. turkeyMAN : MY STORY PART II

Sorry for all the waitings. I shall continue my story. But before that PLEASE NOTE THAT TO LOOK AT THE PICTURE CLEARLY YOU HAVE TO CLICK IT. Okay. As i said in the previous story, something did happen to me which changed my life.

This event: Changed th way PAPA treated me
Let me knowe who is THE SELEEEECCTOORRR.
Made me know more who i am
Propelled me forward in becoming turkeyMAN

On that day, PAPA flew me home. As usual he did not speak a word to me ( HE HAS NEVER EVER SPOKE TO ME BEFORE, if you dont know). However, on our way home, he changed the direction and we landed on the HILL OF THE DEAD
I asked him, "why?"

As usual he did not speak a word.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE SELECTOR CAME OUT OF THE CLOUDS. In the Planet Of Tokgong , we believe that for every 100 million yrs, THE (Mighty) SELECTOR will arrive from Earth to appoint a Tokgongist to become a HERO or what we also call " THE CHOSEN ONE".

THE SELECTOR pointed at me and said that I am " THE CHOSEN ONE". PAPA was astonished.

PAPA stayed frozen and he fell down the hill. Luckily, he managed to hold on a something and he flew towards me after THE SELECTOR DIMINISHED IN THE CLOUDS ( WaOh..ShO SHUAI SHUAT N mYztERioUZxxx neh! mI Lub e sELecTOrxx neh!)

THE SELECTOR: OI! Turkeyass! You got me wrong! You are actually not the one i, THE MIGHTY ONE, was pointing at!

(Ahem! err.. you just pretend you never hear what THE SELECTOR has said just now, if not the story cannot continue ah you see..) okay..err. THEN PAPA finally talk to me!

PAPA's words enlightened my soul and I was a changed turkey. I started extensive training, hoping that I can truely become a HERO one day as I grow up. I was the CHOSEN ONE, I was the CHOSEN ONE, I WAS THE CHOSEN ONE....

BUT SUDDENLY SOMETHING HAPPEN TO ME AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE!

~TO BE CONTINUED~

2006-07-30T13:53:00.000+08:00

UNDIES is here today!

HAHAHA. LPSC's finally a month old! all thanks to our dear friends, BAKA (who's thanking you man), and yes especially to our Reader of July 2006 theGAY!!!! how are the toothpicks my buddy? :D

okay. it's gonna be fun today! the LPSC crew will be dining out at Swensen's today and tomorrow for the great success we achieved the past month! of course, we all welcome you to join us! our meeting point is at Zimbaba control station. (NOTE: NOT Awwgang!!). see you there! :)

alright. this week, UNDIES' back for...

THE COTTON CRAP!

that's right. it's the programme which provides you horny readers the latest and the most magnificent discovery anyone can find on planet Earth!!

everyone's all getting crazy over our DEAREST friend baka, the boy/girl/elephant who can only express himself/herself/itself with lousy hokkien language! so your dear UNDIES has spent the entire week in search for more details and information about baka. this time, there arent any blogs, hell-notes or whatever. it's baka's friendster account!!!! *no claps again*

how ar. no one clap. alright i'll try it again.

it's LPSC's friendster account!!!! *the crowd ROARS*
it's baka's friendster account!!!! *..............*

okay it's no use. sorry baka ): .

okay as i was saying, it's baka's FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT!!!! *boooo* ......... oh nvm. but guys, it's really nothing special, just another boring account without creativity. typical twit, typical gugugaga type of male/female/elephant.

let's have a breakdown of the profile.

alright. it's pretty well known that baka is a TWIT. an EMO-TWIT who lost his/her/its boyfriend last summer because he/she/it shaved his/her/its genital hair. so it's not very surprising for baka to have a complicated status. but anyway, i doubt he's/she's/it's FEMALE as stated. baka has a penis and a vagina, how can conclusions be made that simply?

okay brother Lim Peh is right. baka's currently fighting in the Iraq war! still got time for friendster sia.

and hey. baka's from `mY mAmA's w0mB!!! hEhEx~`!! that's a new discovery. where on the initially-concluded-to-be-square-yet-proven-to-be-round Earth is `mY mAmA's w0mB!!! hEhEx~`??? bring us there someday okay, Mr/Ms/Mrs BaKAx?

alright. not very surprising too: BAKA HAS NO FRIENDS! and oh, he/she/it is using the gayly faggotish strawberry skin friendster specially provided for REAL xia0 cute cutes.

more hilarious stuff: the profile! only come of them though =/

cool! barbie dolls school? i prefer Thomas Train dude.

thanks for the support baka! BUT WAIT A MINUTE. YOU SURF? who are you trying to joke?

alright, penthouse. got it. but hey, DAR VINNIE CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D.

there's still more to it. and i just feel so stupid to help advertise baka's friendster account. i should be busy increasing the fame of LPSC! so people, here's the link to baka's friendster account. http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=30883533 . do NOT add him/her/it, but constantly support LPSC instead!

it's lpsc.co@gmail.com. add us okay? you fans rock like crazy!!!!

and once again. Happy One Month Anniversary to LPSC!

2006-07-30T11:53:00.000+08:00

COuntdown of the WeEK

Lim Peh ka le kong , this week countdown , we focus on August. August is full of events ! so lim peh is gonna show you all a list of events lpsc will be organising or attending or just go for fun.

1) LPSC's 1 month Anniversary Celebration

2) LPSC NAtional Day special

3) Lim peh's encounter with Sue and Friends

4) Kids' Central Live ( charity for orphanage?)

5) Big COck's Da vinci code

6) O level practical biology

7) O level practical physics

8)O level practical Chemistry

9) O level Ingrish o'real

10) Ask my Father's Cock( about a 15 year old boy who got tired of speaking Standard English )

LPSC here want to thank all the supporters and rivals who have visit us for 1 month. sUPPort us for another month okay? August behind the scene theme is '' CLean and Green" we will not only no longer use any strong languages or vulgarities , we are also going environmental friendly . yes u heard it right . readers rmbr to check on our lpsc mechandise coming up ths month . we have LPSC broom stick , LPSC T shirt and also some COCK dict. to give away .

2006-07-28T18:27:00.000+08:00

LPSC 's big discovery of the month.

one day, Lim peh and big cock is stealing toilet papers again . then came JOey the DeBateR . A conversation was made and JOey mention women rapists. that gave us a question to ask.
To all Women and women-to-be., how the hell do women rape men???

So lim pei went around Singapore interviewing unsuspecting ppl about this sensitive and impossible question. Unexpectedly, lim pei received a lot of good answers to my doubts.

First it was from Miss E, she said, "i will first imagine the victim to be orleanda broom. then i will chain the guy onto the bed and whip him. then i will poke anything into his P****S . " ouch. after this sentence , i puke .

Next, it was from Miss Sh, she said," i will tie the person onto a wall and stuff oranges into his mouth" oranges ??? why ? " then i will cut his clothes and make his P****S hard. " after that, i puke even more.

Okay then again, there are many girls who rejected to answer our sensitive Q. ppl like Miss C and miss T RAN a mile away from me.

lastly, i asked Mr JOey what would he do if he is a woman rapist, he said," I will give the man some vigra to erect his P****S , after that i will .........." opps i forgot.

There are some crazy and mad girls who replied me some violent ans, the worst is " I will Castrate his P****S" whoahh that did not only make me puke blood but also make BIgcock drop all his feathers!

for more infomation, pls go to joey the debater link or call hotline 0808 cock or email us at lpsc.co@gmail.com

NOW about BAKA
Unbelievably, i cant believe that i actually don believe the unbelievably unbelievaable beliefs of what believers believed that i dont believe the to be believed believable that actually i believe what ppl dun believe. that BAKA returns
there is only one possiblity why BAKA returns; BAKA's arch enemy Turkeyman join LPSC. thus BaKA followed him back here . so stupid ! everyone knows that BAKA cannot win the FOur of us. stop dream BAKA, get real man/woman/elephant.

stay tune for Lim pei's countdown of the week .... FUCKERS

2006-07-27T21:02:00.000+08:00

LOOK WHOS BACK ?????????? no its not superman la.

woooooohoooooo! its BAKA the bitch ASSHOLE karnation of an aLIEN!!!! my god have we missed you so much!where did you go? to fertilise a pig farm in indonesia? fight the war for israel? enlope with your coca cola can??? dig your nose too much you landed in hospital? or did you have to compensate popo the elephant for impregnating it?

everybody please give a round of an applause! *no one clap*

oh come on guys! hahahaha.

so BAKA, did you like the blog we made for you? well...MANY PEOPLE DO! they even think that its much better than OUR site! you must be honoured that we crap so much for you....i mean,only people like you can catch LPSC's attention right?

boohoo "si bei guai lan" boohooohooo. why? oh yah. i 4got tHaT EuU WeRZ Az tWit. OrHzZ sOrRiIz ThUaT wHeE mAkez FuRnz OrF EuU. well, boy/girl/elephant. so you think that you can express yourself better in hokkien? maybe you can TRY AGAIN. maybe tamil or mohawki language will do the trick.

now that BAKA the incredible is back.....we'll have plenty to do. and i mean PLENTY.

baka!! we welcome you back!!! we are even doing a little c0ckcast for you..see so good rUiGhTz...KeKexXz..

(edited: 100% vulgar-free)

2006-07-27T16:49:00.001+08:00

THIS THIS THIS THIS IS BIGCOCK, THE ONE AND ONLY COCK THAT BRINGS YOU GOOD CRAP AND JELLY BEANS! YEAH.

now that limpeishittycock.blogspot.com(or formerly known as laughingbitchesandhornybastards.blogspot.com) has attained such high viewershittttt(ok maybe not a lot), but i am proud to say that the people of limpeishittycock had done well! give us a round of a applause! **claps claps**(only one person clap--the butcher) i would like to thank the people for supporting us! now is award time.........who is going to get the award for most avid supporter??? its..............THEGAY!!!(you have been waiting for this right?? haha) your GRAND PRIZE........2 TOOTHPICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

you must be wondering....how limpei, bigc0ck, and undies came about. well...i'm going to share their story today!!!

limpei
once upon a time in a fishing village in singapore, called patu jalan, a child was born. he had 26 tattos on his body, 76 piercings on his body, and hair that was orange. the funny thing is, it was natural!!! he didn't pierce, nor tatto, nor dye his hair! this child was named vincent ang mo kio. due to his uncanny resemblence to an ahbeng, he made ahbengs friends and got ahbeng too. he smoked, drinked and participated in gang fight. he even changed his name to "LIMPEI". one day, he met bigcock...............

BIGc0ck
in 1810, chicken farms were prevalent in singapore. there was a chick. one day, a genetic engineer from the future travelled back in time to 1819, to search for his ancestor. then, he saw this cute little chick. he then took this chick, and translocated a human gene into it. the chick GREW and GREW, until it could talk and walk. because it was huge(not because of its amazing ability to talk nor the resemblence to a mascot), stamford raffles named it BIGc0ck! bigcock became raffles's best friend. you can even see bigcock standing beside the raffles statue now. he met limpei in 2006......

bigcock and limpei story

bigcock: eh how to dismantle this pencil ah?
limpei: wahlao you can talk ah?!
bigcock: nah b*h of course la

...........................................................like this, they became friends, and started LIMPEISHITTYCOCK...............................................

then, they met undies...............

undies
in 2003, an underwear was produced in BENG CHOK tailors pte ltd. because of his colour white(white was not popular then, purple was), he was left on the shelf. one day, a genetic engineer(yes the SAME ONE) came to buy underwear. he saw the underwear, and immediately bought. it was because it was very very rare and popular in the future. he translocated the human gene into the underwear, and named it UNDIES. thus, the genetic enginner was UNDIES's master.

one day...while in the toilet...undies saw bigc0ck and limpei stealing toilet paper....

limpei: eh see what see?
bigc0ck: yah lor you nah b%h see what see?
undies:eh you can talk ah?!
bigc0ck: of course la. eh you can talk also ah?!
undies: of course la!
limpei: wah lao eh.

..................................................ever since....limpeishittycock added a new member to its crew.........................................

i won't talk too much about turkeyman's origins because he WILL be talking about it. soon. i hope. hahaha

well i'll stop here. cya!

***** NEW TONGUE TWISTER******
chiew thiam teck likes to chew thumb tacks but chewing thumb tacks makes chiew thiam teck chew, so when i tell chiew thiam teck that chewing thumb tacks is his hobby, chiew thiam teck said that chewing thumb tacks was not. but i still feel that chewing thiam teck can help in names like chiew thumb tacks. WOAH.

2006-07-26T16:08:00.000+08:00

LIM PEI quit smoking

Lim pei ka le kong, smoking is getting the hell out of me. i am pissed off , out, left , right, in, up, down and under for smoking tobacco! Because of that new smoking policy: only smoke in smoking area in hawker centre, I have to torture myself by smoking beside a gay smoker everyday at the Kopitiam.

Even worse, I have spent all my money from the progress package to buy cigarettes. ALAMAK !

but , i still can see smoke in no smoking area leh. but no smokers there. only aunties and uncles burning paper on the ground with red candles and big rusty cylinders every where . i wonder what they are doing. are they trying a new method of smoking or are they crazy>.< these stupid adults are also very inconsiderate and wasteful because after they burn the piles of papers into ash, they leave it there where the wind can blow them from boon lay to changi . in addition, this people also throw some food on the ground. Either they forgot to eat them or they just want to waste food.

So Lim pei will go everywhere with a broom and a gas mask on to sweep any ash on the floor for the goodwill of the neighbourhood. but kindness dont pays especially when those ungrateful uncles and ah mas will chase , wrestle and kick your ass when u do the right thing.

what is coming to this world man !?!?!?! ppl being not environmental friendly by polluting the air!!! worse still noise pollution at night starting from this month! why this month so special huh.
every night, the DONG DING BANG will keep ringing in my pitiful ears! when it starts it makes my ears bleed and my brain swells . ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i cant take this anymore!

so i decided to make a decision! i stomp my way to the meet-the-ppl-session by the MP . i complained ! he just listened silently as if he dont understand my native language i wonder why.
He said that this month is where the ghosts come out from hell . HUH? MP believe in such things? LIM PEI BUAY DA HAN guess i have to endure for this month . sighhh.

ONE more issue.

OI TURKEYMAN WHY U SO ANTI ONE WHY U HAVEN POST YET ?@?@?!??#$@^&^*&($ knn HURRY UP LAH KNKNKNKNKNKNK

gtg drink my bak ku teh now bb see yah !

2006-07-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

UNDIES posting, and i'm EQUALLY FIRED UP .

i didnt even bother to think about that bald fuck these days, but he's really getting outrageous and unreasonable these days. he really geared up my fucking temper towards his fucking hairless skull and his punctured pubic-less balls.

alright. few days ago, Mr Exemplar was sharing with me about his screwed-up teenage life, including him being pestured by our school ahbeng-wannabes. of course, any dickheads would then cry to the damn bald shit about how their asses were kicked by the lowlife thugs, which Mr Exemplar actually did. supposingly, he should be furious and tempered with this matter. but he told our good friend here to write him some good-for-nothing 1500-words report to him on the cause of the bully and place it in his ~~asshole~~ pidgeon hole. he did what he was instructed. however, nothing seemed to have taken effect; Mr Exemplar still gets bullied by the same old faggots.

now analyse this, that hairless fuck called himself a discipline master when he cant even unleash his mastery skills to discipline people successfully? look, if he had really called forth the thugs and "disciplined" them as he should, why is our dear friend here still disturbed by the SAME people? what a MASTER of discipline. or unless, he didnt even do anything at all. if that's really the case, he should drop his fucking position and give it to Lim Peh instead.

what's more classic? our dear discipline master seems to care more about long hair and hanged-out shirts. that's so no-life. which particular Law of Humanities states that having fringes makes one a hooligan? which particular Law of Humanities states that having fringes makes one undisciplined? what should be handled with greater attention are those gangsterism and extortion cases, those SHOULD deserve more disciplinary actions. moreover, why should hairstyles be classified under defying the honour of discipline? ironically, as a discipline master he is, he has failed to weigh their seriousness accurately. stereotype, stereotype stereotype, that's what all school staffs know best.

oh perhaps he's right about hairstyles, sarcastically.

"if you have long fringes, it will hurt your eye as the wind blows, and you cannot read the whiteboard as efficiently." yeahhh!!!! bullshit.

"if the tails are too long, it tickles your neck, and you get irritated by the itch, and you cannot concentrate as effectively." yeahhh!!! even more bullshit.

"if you are caught with long hair in events like national examinations, you will be banned from the papers for 3 years." arguably, alright, if that's what stupid Cambridge or MOE wants. but it's still 4 months to the papers for us scholars, and a couple of years for the lower secondary angels. why fuckingly get crazy over our hair all the time, when you can just conduct ONE mass spotcheck perhaps a week before the papers?

he just love giving fucking excuses. period.

here's UNDIES' Law of Righteous Discipine: if you have no hair, go make yourself useful at Shaolin and not come here and make yourself green upon our beautiful LONG hair.

alright. im already boiled while typing this. come on bald fuck, i do hope you can have greater understanding of the word "discipline". it's not defined according to your mentally retarded pea-sized purple brain, so dont attempt to change any word yourself. granting us Human Rights, and understanding more on True Disciplinary Actions; you failed in both areas. how did you even make it to the position of a discipline master? you are probably a fraud. know what you should aim for lah. go get busy with the tong tong tongs in the school instead, there are people worshipping them already. i believe you would rather see a school with fringe-released cool-looking peeps than purple-or-pink mohawk-ed punks. help the helpless Mr Exemplar, and give us innocent civilians a break!

seriously, if some coupon vouchers for Yun Nam Hair Care can make you gayly delighted, i wouldnt mind earning it for you. it's for the sake of us pitiful Unitians.

2006-07-25T20:16:00.000+08:00

LETS TALK ABOUT RIGHTS.

i'm just going to make this short and simple today.(yes there is no GONG JI LIAN GE, sorry)

hmmm just commenting on what our discipline master did recently.

he said, "there is a law under the government law book, under chapter 141 page 348(it was obvious that he picked any six numbers and just spit them out) that states that teachers as government assets, are under government protection and any one harming them will be charged" like what the hell man. we all, as humans also has protection rights(this is under the universal declaration of human rights). so we too are protected. so we can fucking sue your ass if you cause us any emotional distraught and harm, which you indeed have done so(ask all the students). so stop fucking around with rights and stuff like that you loser.

he also screamed at us saying: "you have no right to speak!!!". another fucked up comment. i mean like what the fuck. we have the right to speak , haven't you heard of freedom of speech you bald fuck? we can talk about anything anywhere(except political stuff) and that includes speaking in the auditorium!

don't believe? the definition of freedom of speech :

Freedom of speech is the concept of being able to speak freely without censorship. It is often regarded as an integral concept in modern liberal democracies. The right to freedom of speech is guaranteed under international law through numerous human rights instruments, notably under Article 19 of the Universal Declaration Of Human Rights.

so FUCK you and your bullshit! i just wanted the fucking DM to know, that no matter how much you fucking smile or joke, unitians will never fucking like you.(nope. not even if you give us hair from you chest that was supposed to grow on your head. ) so on behalf of the students who suffered under your reign of terror,

FUCK YOU.

(arguments were reinforced by the debator)

2006-07-24T21:32:00.000+08:00

UNDIES posting!!!!

are you people afraid of ghosts? hahha our brother lim peh is; he likes shark tale more. but oh anyway, the so-called HELL GATES are opening tomorrow.

THE HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVAL!

it's the same thing every year. yes ghosts from different origins will be roaming the streets. some with a lost limb due to unexperienced wrestling actions, some with a missing eye due to poor bowing skills, some with awfully dented penises due to excessive intercourse, some with over-swollen breasts due to excessive milk loss. we will also see superstitious aunties or ah ma's offering famous amos cookies and Bacardi 151 to our Hao Xiong Di's. not forgetting hell-bank notes with BAKA's face printed on it.

everyone must have heard stories about the chinese's seventh month. believe it or not, they are really true. trust me. i dont lie (hahaha yea right). oh well, it's just quite disturbing to constantly remind yourself that a ghost may be just beside you. but still people, proceed with caution. you may not be reading this post alone...................

haiya actually there isnt anything special about this. im here to share with Phippino maids the various cautions you have to take to SURVIVE the seventh month. c'mon, i know you are thinking it's bullshit. but hey, there are really cases of possession and death during the ghost month! just, trust me. really, trust me. trust me.

FOR THE MAIDS COMING TO SINGAPORE IN JULY
1. make sure your name isnt Rosa or Esther, if not Chen Shu Cheng and Hong Hui Fang will not help deliver your letters home.
2. make sure the family you are working for does not have any individual named Ah Soon.
3. do not come to Singapore and work if your brother has kidney failure.
4. best solution still, DON'T COME TO SINGAPORE IN JULY!

FOR MAIDS ALREADY IN SINGAPORE
1. if the family you are working for performs for the Hungry Ghost Festival, pray to God on how much you dont wish to die.
2. if the family you are working for performs for the Hungry Ghost Festival, search and rip open the drums for dead corpses.
3. do not make friends with handsome and half-deaf postmen.
4. do not wear any clothes that was worn by the previous maid, if not the maid next door will freak out and commit suicide.
5. unless your masters arent Chen Shu Cheng AND Hong Hui Fang, post your letters yourself.
6. if there's an Ah Soon, RUN BACK TO PHILIPPINES!

freaking out already? actually, there is a possibility that the family you are working for has a member who is already dead, but visible to you. dont worry. just carry out these simple experiments.

TEST FOR ~~CATIONS~~ GHOSTS
1. display the famous amos cookies on the alter and see which fool actually go and eat it.
2. bring the suspected individual out, and see if any biker deliberately attempt to knock him down.
3. bring the suspected individual out for dinner, and see if any hawker cleaner sweeps rubbish on him on purpose.
4. if the results of the above experiments are positive, RUN BACK TO PHILIPPINES!

basically, that's all the research EVERY maid should do in order to breathe through the helluva hellacious month. bear those in mind okay?

what? normal Singaporeans, you want ways to survive the month too? unfortunately i cant think of any. just be prepared to see heads rolling on buses floor.

let's go to the opposite now.

when there are scumbags who fear that gah-gah will swallow them up, there's definitely this adventurous group of people who loves ghosts. UNDIES will now provide all of you the ways to see ghosts! for the curious and adventurous ones only. kids, dont try these at home or in public or anywhere.

10 WAYS TO SEE GHOST.
~~1. watch The Eye 10.~~
1. go to your friends' chalet and borrow the book 10 Ways to See Ghost and use each page as toilet paper.
2. sweep up burnt incense ashes because they are dirty and disturbing to the sight.
3. go watch any Hungry Ghost Festival performance and be kiasu by picking the first roll's seats because they are empty!
4. make friends with BAKA.
5. visit your school's DNT room's nearest toilet, and try to discover why there isnt a washroom for the ladies.
6. join WWE and get irritated by Boogeyman.
7. wear red undies to bed.
8. hang up fully-blooded sanitary pads, hoping they will dry up and hence reusable.
9. read the bible and the Holy Ghost to come to you (:
10. look into the mirror. do nothing, just look.

but really people. you dont have to worry so much about this month (except the maids, of course). just be cool, read Lim Pei Shitty Cock daily and that's the best way to keep ghosts away from you!

and OH. im here for another advertisement! check this out.

needless to explain, right? :D

2006-07-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

COWDUNG COUNTDOWN OF THE WEEK

GOOOD GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD gdgdgdgdgdgdgdgd evening everybody! countdown of the week is back! after hours of argument with the editor's ability to seee future..... Once again agay agin agoon aga , lim peh is back from the pasar malam. ok i heard that LPSC will be taken over by Mr Nissan shitty 802 years later. so just to be safe , i ask my Feng Shui Uncle, Mr FA KE to help us escape this disaster. he told me ten brilliant solutions. how come i neber tought of them?? hmmmmmmmmmmmm

1) kill baka and use he/she as sacrifice for a ritual
2) find Wonder?woman and destroy the EX men
3) ask Mr Nissan to join our crew ---- likethats going to happen , F *** !
4) Ask theGay the shyt in the neoprint box the way BAKA did
5) boil a solution of rotten fingernails from Lim Peh, filthy feathers from Big Cock, and a thread from UNDIES. then recite she saw seashell on the sea shore and then sell seashell on the sea shore and play seesaw.
6) Make a LPSC podcast trailer to gain popularity --- now thats common sense
7) make everyone cut their hair by a smoker barber with long fingernails and dirty hands with flies gaying in his oily hair and the barber named BABARAS
8) pray hard that the arrival of TurkeyMan can change the future
9) say " I Luv U " to 0808 strangers
10) ask for foreign talent so that LPSC operates F ***ing 24 hrs per day

HMMMM>...... how the hell am i suppose to do all that.??
the only thing i can do is squat on a toilet bowl and dig my nose.

NOW LEETS go to bet cha didnt know !

Lim Peh KA LE KONG, i bet cha didnt know that a bangla molest an Indonesia maid early this month. NO i am not lying it is true ,really lah. so i better warn all the maids rreadiing this blog hey is there any? oh yah there is one . her name is ANNA ( actually is theGay) anyway, yah remind your maidss to be aware of the construction workers while they shop . yah the one working on the field . yes turn to ur right yes that s HIM !!!!

2006-07-23T11:57:00.000+08:00

KHROO! I am finally here. Firstly, i want to thank LPSC to keep me. I have been travelling all the way from my homeland, Tokgong Planet, to look for partners to aid me in destroying BAKA, the King of the aliens.
BAKA has invaded my homeland. The ENTIRE POPULATION has been infected by a virus called ANNOYTERIA v10.9 which is released by the evil BAKA. The virus has made them calling one another " SUPER POSERS ". Quarrels started and wars have erupted, brothers and sisters are killing one another.
I could not stop BAKA myself, his bloody mouth is too strong for me. My mum told me that i have a cousin on EARTH and so I flew to here but i lost my direction halfway through. Luckily, I saw UNDIES' space ship and he brought me to see my cousin, BIGCOCK.

Okay. I know many of you are confused about my past. Therefore, I shall tell you my story bit by bit.

When i was young, my mum always tell me that i was the special one because i do not have a pair of hands. She told me that when i grow up, I will be a HERO of Tokgong Planet and I will use this pair of wings to save the planet.
I believe my mum. Therefore, I did not really felt depressed over my physical differences.

However, things start to change when i enter primary school.

I was being despised in the class. No one likes me. I felt so sad and I wanted to kill myself.

THEN ONE DAY...SOMETHING HAPPEN AND IT CHANGED MYLIFE!!

~ TO BE CONTINUED~

2006-07-23T00:50:00.000+08:00

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wheeeeee! its BIGc0ck, the cock with many names! (e.g happy sausage, mr incredible, long john, big ben, magic stick, liquid paper (ok la maybe not), pencil etc)

what are we sniffing on today??????????? i'll let you guess.

heavy techno. screaming bitches. crazy parents waving at their children. popcorn. no its not the gay club. come on guess!

no?
still nothing?
okok...its

PASAR MALAM!!!!!!

yes yes! the filthy, run down portable tents that fill the open fields of singapore. for the sake of foriegn readers(is there any? oh ya. theGAY is from mars.), i'm going talk about what pasar malam is all about!

1) techno filled. common songs(or only songs): heaven, blue da be di, sha la la la la, and some other gay techno songs.
2)bitches yelling like they have seen lum(i noe its lim la) jun jie, at low altitude, un-exciting, ancient fun fair rides which has been around since the qin shi wang burned the books.
3)tons of people. don't know where they came from.
4)irritating handphone accessories shop. "i told you for the last time! i don't want a bloody hand phone pouch!" "you can still try the handphone cover! see, very nice!" -_-
5)flowershops(no one goes there)
6)car sellers(i seriously don't know who came up with this stupid idea of selling cars at pasar malam)
7)drinkstalls selling expired drinks
8)10 stalls selling the same thing(e.g ramly buger)
9)parents waving so enthusiastically and crazily to their children riding on some kid rides like the are going overseas to study.

oh well, thats how sucky pasar malams are ever since the iraq war began. but there are some good stuff about pasar malam too la. like: good food, cheap stuff, ~~chio bu~~

hmmm...what to do now?? AHH YES!!! GONG JI LIAN GE!!!!!! YEAH
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so my plan was to take chicky to the arcade and amaze her with my superb drumming skills. but i had to practice.

--walking into the arcade, with baka beside me--
baka:eh whyxxx EUU purtxx gas maskxxx?
me: aiya later you will see
baka: okayzzzzzzzxxxxxxxx
me: eh baka! look there! its superman!
baka: hurxxxxzzzzz? wherezzzzz? wherezzzzzzxxxxx?
---baka looks to where i point, i quickly GRAB HIS NUTS and SQUEEZE!!!--
baka: ouchiexxx ouchiexxx ouchiexxxx!!!
--baka shit in his pants--

the aroma of dejection from baka's butt polluted the whole arcade! the smell was so foul that everyone in the arcade fainted! (baka died due to overexposure) yes! i have the whole arcade to myself!..............so i practiced and practiced, to the point that i was so familiar that i could even play the drums with my toes.

I AM READY!

so i took her to the arcade. dragged chicky in with a paraffin string(she couldn't move because she was a statue). this is it.....

i sat on the seat. i took out the new drumsticks that i bought. the "talking" vasolini qumbaci v2.6.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!! i played the drums like i have eaten some estacy. swinging my head round and round, i hit it so well even the other arcade machines beside started to spoil.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

finally! i have finished......looking at the results: A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

7 million combos. YEAH. i turned around. hey! wheres CHICKY?

me: eh drumsticks, where chicky go?
drumsticks: aiya she very long already go liao. the worker from kfc take her away while you were playing at the start.
me: .............

haiz.....MISSION: i-take-chicky-to-the-arcade-and-play-the-drum-so-well-that-she-love-me-plan has FAILED.

not again...........when will i ever win her heart? when will chicky be mine????
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thats the end of GONG JI LIAN GE! stay tuned to the next edisode!!

and btw, thanks all supporters who visited this blog. we really are grateful. no really, we are. really la.

2006-07-22T22:24:00.000+08:00

hello people! UNDIES' back!

oh i'm not gonna crap. just making some advertisements (yes again).

alright. in case many of you didnt notice, we have created a friendster account for LPSC! please do support us! you guys are really great (: .
it's lpsc.co@gmail.com

secondly, as BIGc0ck has mentioned, COCKCAST will debut very very soon! stay tuned people, im very sure you would love to hear all our voices! yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

alright our dear turkeyMAN must have really kept you in huge suspense. dont worry, he will turn up real soon.

and... sigh. 802 years later, i will lose Wrestlemania, get burnt up and perish...........................

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

2006-07-21T17:30:00.000+08:00

Time TRAVEL?????

Behind the editor's desk,

hey it is me again. once again, i am pleased with the blog's success and would like to thank everyone for supporting our blog. I hope it is not too late to say this but last evening i dreamt about the future of this LPSC crew.

I see myself in a deserted place. It is like the consequences of the third war world. Has ISreal gone too far. .... ?? Then Suddenly, a filthy disgusting brutal dirty bottom feeding newspaper smacked my face. Whats this? oh LIM PEH SHITTY COCK TIMES? written by theGaay.. HEY where are my 3 heroes. namely Lim peh , Undies, Big cock . okay so I flip to the ARBITURARIES of the newspape. ok itt is still like the STRAITS TIMES -- LIFE section.

Yah and guess what i found out, the year is AD 2808 huh? and more the Bigcock and Undies lost wrestlemania !?!?!?!?!?! Unbelievable! or expected . i dont know what to say . So i flip to the next page and saw that theGay has made a great hit in Hollywood. I cant believe it! how can LPSC allow this!

As if the newspaper heard my doubts, the were articles about Lim Peh , Big cock and Undies.

FIrstly, Lim peh was killed by gangsters when he insulted them by saying persistently the words Lim Peh .which however is really his name.
Next, Big COck , after losing the wrestlemania, was sent to the Tek hao Chicken Rice stall. Unfortunately, He was eaten by the chicken rice man .
Finally, Undies. NO he was not eaten by a sea cucumber, YEs he was burnt to death when his owner lied for the first time . The prophecy " lier lier pants on fire " is true from what i see.

Oh dear , how could this happened!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Then , i find myself lying in bed. Whew it was just a dream . But , in my hands, I was grabbing a newspaper. " LIM PEH SHITTY COCK TIMES 2808" ..............................

2006-07-20T18:21:00.000+08:00

hi guys. THIS IS BIGCOCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! the grammatically wrong and politically correct joker from the cucumber plant!

so whats our topic today? hmm.....why not.....AH BENG!!!!!!

yes, those long haired ear pierced foul mouthed juveniles, who hang around the street all day and do nothing but smoke and listen techno song. i'm sure you would have seen one. those people are ferocious no doubt, but what really makes an ah beng? let me show you. there are three kinds of ahbengs.

hokkien peng ah bengs
1)worn out tattoos on the body
2)bald
3)only know hokkien, no clue what is english
4)must be over 40 years old
5)must be hairdresser
6)call themselves limpei(sounds familiar)
7)common name "robert"

paikia ahbengs
1)must have hair that is not black
2)listen to old techno
3)must at least have 2 piercings of any part of the body
4)must smoke
5)must hang out at orchard road or some ulu dark place
6)hands must swing at least 2m radius
7)form real gangs with names in hokkien or ending with "tong"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so those are the fearsome mighty modern warriors that dig their nose every now and then. hey wheres the third one? the third one is actually not quite ahbengs, although they aspire to be one. yes, they are the:

ahbengs wanna-bes
1)dye only one strand of hair
2)listen to 50cent and madonna
3)must be basketball player
4)use 2 bottles of gel everyday
5)common name :"teck how"
6)want to smoke but scared to get chronic bronchitis
7)threaten you for 1-on-1, but later call their gang down for "backup"
8)act like bosses but afraid of Mr Scott Chew.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for the people at number 3, well i'm sorry, you'll never be ah bengs. especially basketball players. scouts maybe can make it.hehehe. you can try dancing instead.

****this section has nothing to do with the people i know and is reflected upon general knowledge. and please do not dig your nose.*****

WOOOHOOO!!! watch out peeps! LPSC could be coming up with "COCKCAST", where you'll be hearing our voices!!! cool!! new stories, good followups, and lots of pidgeon shit!

i'll be stopping now, because i have to go play the see saw! wheee! watch out for new articles like the one above commenting on the very things that happen next to us, on top of us, and in us=) one potential article is "pasar malam" STAY TUnED!!!!!! MuAcHkXxXxXx(is that how you spell it?)

WAIT! heres a improved tongue twister! : shally shell shea shells on the shea shore, and went to sit on the shee shaw to shee all! got ya tongue didn't i?=D

2006-07-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

UNDIES here again!

okokok looks like our brother lim peh is HOT already.

so im here to make a quick update. Theresa's title of Reader of July 2006 will be stripped from her. UNDIES truly apologises for this impromptu arrangement. you know, lim peh can kill when he gets angry. so yea, please return us our Raindow Pencil which costs 1000000000000000000000000000000 np and quietly wait for Santa to come this Christmas instead.

)): dont cry theresa. lim peh will accept you some day.

rahh. i really feel very bad ): .

never mind. here's one random joke! oh well, when a teacher asks you to answer a question, tell him that the question cant reply.

sorry people. im feeling cold.

2006-07-18T19:01:00.000+08:00

Lim peh bu suang

oi UNDIES !!! how can u give awards to people without my consent! after all, I used my savings to but the rainbow pencil u know! 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 np leh. i doncth want to spout vulgarities today because i also dun know why.

today, i watched the channel 8 6.30 news for the very first time after much ,much consideration . and guess what i heard! " Singapore poly promotes speak good English movement" ehh ey how come its speak good english movement? i always thought the Gahmen want to encourage Hua Yu COOL . somehow i got a feeling that the speak good english movement is challenging the hua yu cool campaigne..... ios the gahmen contradicting itself? ? ?

In the not far future, you can expect to see more movements like BanDai Melayu and Tamil Pom pee pee !!! yeah Doncht you agree Big cock and Undies and of course Turkeyman coming from Turkey who likes to eat Turkey

2006-07-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

hey hey! it's UNDIES posting again!

and today, i came with my new programme!

THE COTTON CRAP

oh yes. The Cotton Crap will share with you the latest wonderful discoveries explored by the sexually attractive UNDIES.

the last session was about the GCE O Level A Math Paper 1. have you people attempted the questions? it's fucking tough right? HAHAHAH. why worry cocks and pussys, LPSC has solved the question!!! THE ANSWER IS ........11! oh righty man! we are such fucking geniuses!! hahah. thank us man!

okay. but this week, im sharing with you guys something brand new. have you read BIGc0ck's previous post? about him screwing the pencil-necked geek BAKA? i was feeling real bored and i went to visit the websites that BIGc0ck so-called recommanded there.

AND TO MY HUGE SISTERFUCKINGHORROR, one of the links there actually directs to BAKA'S BLOG!!!

check it out man. i've linked it already. it's at the sidebar, under Our Good Friends section.

he/she doesnt have a tagboard. let's all wait for that mutton to update one, and let's GO FULL FORCE by flooding his/her ARSE OFF!!!!!

PRIZE PRESENTATION

this is our first ever Prize Presentation ceremony to especially thank our loyal readers up to this day. and apparently, our reader of the month goes to THERESA!

as initiated by BIGc0ck, we should present her the most expensive gift LPSC can afford: the Rainbow Towel. unfortunately we cannot find any rainbow towels in stores. so went to find a substitution for it.

THE RAINBOW PENCIL!
this pencil is priceless in Neopets!

after all, it's a pencil that gave birth to this blog.

and once again we announce.. our Good Girl of the Month, the Santa's Best Choice for Christmas, and LPSC Reader of the Month.. THERESAAAAAAAAAAAA!

2006-07-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.. please welcome

UNDIES

that's right. im very sorry that lost my cool that day. of course, my crappy life will still live on, with or without the cockless BAKA.

anyway, im gonna share something very serious, that i believe everybody would wanna know. alright. listen up people. just this morning, my master wore me to orchard road and wanted to answer his nature's call, and i found this CD in the toilet cubical. guess what people.. it contains this year's GCE O level's A Math paper 1. no joke, people.

http://www.geocities.com/yourundies/GCEOLevelAMathPaper1.doc

and i immediately shared with Limpei and Bigc0ck. im telling you people, it's a fuckingly fucking fucked up paper. we cant even solve the first question. damn it! all 3 of us scored 1/100. it's all because of that damned question 1. we could have scored distinction for math! go check it out people, you will see how hard Cambridge wanna screw us.

but oh well, we still have time until we officially sit for the paper. don't worry chickens and cats, the geniuses from LPSC will break the code and provide you with the solutions of question 1!!! how lovely of us, isnt it?

alright i can see that many people are getting their fist prepared already. muahahahahha!

spare me people. this is just a preview of my new debut programme!

let's have a list of the programmes that we have in this fucking blog.
COCK N BULL STORY: Gong Ji Lian Ge by All LPSC members
Lim Pei Shitty Cock Times by all LPSC members
BET YA DIDN'T KNOW!!! by BIGc0ck
ASK YOUR FATHER'S COCK! by BIGc0ck
Countdown of the Week by Lim Peh

but hey didnt you guys realise something? Undies does not have a particular programme for himself! oh well after brainstorming for a few milliseconds, i have thought of a brilliant programme for myself:

THE COTTON CRAP by UNDIES

that's right, The Cotton Crap! there will not be any interesting facts, quotes, random books, gayeye gays, or any advertisements. there will only be exciting facts, quotes, random books, gayeye gays, and advertisements! MUAHAHAH no lah. The Cotton Crap will crap the shit outta you readers. this programme shares with you very very random discoveries that can make you ROFCUAO (rolling on floor cursing UNDIES' ass off).

and yes. you have just witnessed the gist of The Cotton Crap. stay tuned people =p

GONG JI LIAN GE

okay, updates on Gong Ji Lian Ge!!!! er, actually i should have a Deh Kor Lian Ge for myself eh. but never mind.

anyway, nothing much to update. i cant date Spongy out, unlike our dear Bigc0ck, can go arcade some more. i bet if i attempt to dive underwater to Bikini Bottom again i will be slaughted like crazy. all that i can do is to do it online. Spongy, I really LOVE YOUUUU!!

): sob sob sobzzzzzzzz! nii kUu zHe dUii w0 sHw0R, t0nG hUa Liiz d0u sHiix piiAnn rEn DeRxx! nii Buu Ke nENg Shii w0 dErx g0ng zHuu.. (wait, Spongebob is supposed to be a male right?)

i cant bear to be twitish for the moment. im really love sick. Spongy, why cant you just love me? RAHHHHH! :'(

oh well, all i have to do is to train up my balls for the Wrestlemania match, win it, and i get Spongy all for myself! thanks to the supporters. and esp thanks to brother Lim peh. i know you are still in hospital shaving your pubic hair, but i know your heart is with me and BIGc0ck. come on BIGc0ck, at Wrestlemania, let's show them who's BOSS!

LPSC RANDOM ADVERTISEMENT

alright. im continuing this post with a special advertisement!

-richard gere's advertisement-
Turban man: if you free the birds, you get good luck. more birds, more luck!

boring. LPSC has a new one!

-LPSC's advertisement-
Lim peh: if you unleash the birds, you get good crap. more birds, more crap!

ladies and gentlemen. a new character will be joining LPSC in their Journey to the Crap. he's none other than.... TURKEYMAN! YES, it's another bird! more birds, more crap! that's right. we will be expecting NEW CRAPS, NEW LAME JOKES, NEW SHIT, NEW COCK from our turkeyMAN! stay tuned people!

2006-07-16T14:03:00.000+08:00

This is BIGc0ck yet again in another post!!!! yes, the politically correct and grammatically wrong BIGc0ck! or the other way round. FIRSTLY, i would like to adress some issues.

1)thanks all our supporters like what undies said, theresa, yanling, bang, hx, and sarah. thanks for NOT FUCKING FLAMING OUR FUCKING BLOG and SUPPORTING IT. unlike some other loser shitfuck, who doesn't not understand the fucking meaning of humor and merriment.

2)the fucking whiteboard marker B.A.K.A. (maybe it stands for the Bitch asshole karnation of an alien.) you see, this loser from green recycle bin posted some unwanted comments in our tagboard. my anger was filled to the brim when i saw this comment. "baka: super posers." posers? who the fuck did we pose dude? what the fuck did we ever do to you? (unless you are BIGBIRD) i think the poser is you my friend. you, for no reason, decided by your decimal-like brain which is held loosely in your socket, came to our friendly little blog, and said we were posers. let me tell you who you posed. OSAMA. osama, because he was gay, decided to annoy the giant USA. oh and a while later he was oblierated by missles from the US. see the similarities? so i suggest B.A.K.A to take him/her and his gay ass away from this blog, and visit some other blog like "www. i love barbie dolls .blogspot.com", before we verbally CRUSH YOUR SMALLER-THAN-AN-ATOM ass.

3)repeat of 2)

BACK TO CRAP!!!!

so that bigbird challenged me to a fight at wrestlemania ah. WELL COME GET ME!!!! you can't beat BIGc0ck, the cock of the year, the WORLD COCK CHAMPION! I WILL KICK THEIR ASS!!!!! I WILL WIN CHICKY's HEART!!!!! GOGOGO!

back to "GONG JI LIAN GE!!!"

after the screw up the last time, i have decided to come up with another plan. turkeyman taught me this.(your credit turkeyman)=) the "i-take-her-the-the-arcade-and-play-the-arcade-drumset-so-well-that-she-will-love-me" plan.woooohooo. but theres a problem. i don't know how to play like those super nerds at the arcade!!!! NOOOO.... that leaves me no choice. i must practice. how?? heres the plan

-get B.A.K.A to shit in the pants at the neoprint booth.
-because of the horrid smell, everyone will run away, stampling on b.a.k.a. while they run, so he dies too. thats killing two birds with one stone!
-now the arcade is empty. then i will PRACTICE TILL I GET PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

soon, I SHALL BE THE ARCADE DRUMMING KING AND CHICKY WILL LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hahaha. well this is the end. but STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE OF GONG JI LIAN GE!!!!!!!!!!

haha i'm stopping here. i'm not going to be bored upon by the comments of this low browed fool. it would be too lowly of me. like what undies said, supporters, please don't be affected by his comments. whether our blog has wittiness or not, we hope that you will stand by us.

one more thing. haters, here are a list of websites you may want to go to.

"www.world of gays.com"
"www.love love ai ai xiao cute cutexxxxx.blogspot.com"
"www.what is a poser.com/for gays and dummies"
"www.how to restrain yourself from being stupid.com/info"
"www.how to be NICE AND SUPPORTIVE.com"
"www.how to speak zimbabwe language.com"

2006-07-16T11:19:00.000+08:00

CowdungCountdown of the week.

Once again, the countdown of the week is back. this week we focus on the amazing latest cybergames. After hours of discussion with my friend, UrbanKnight gamer, we have decided to create our very own cybergames. here is our top ten ideas for the future.

1) Burnout- extinguished takedown
2) Resident evil - HDB version
3) SIms - Singaporean Innovative Markets and Shops
4) Need for speed- kenna samaan
5) the adventures of Supperman and Hawkergirl
6) Grand theft Auto- Sesame Street
7) same as no. 1
8) Plastic slug X
9) the EX- men 3
10) Lim peh shitty cock cocky shitty game the lim peh shitty cocky beat up of Al Qaeda gay adventures with shitty expansion pack 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10

Yah thatss all folks .

2006-07-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

UNDIES posting. not making any formal introduction this time. i cant stand this shit anymore.

thanks to you readers. you have acknowledged the fact that we are indeed lame, nonsensical or silly. that's the purpose of this blog. we post crap for crap. we post shit for shit. we post for entertainment purposes (to us, at least). COCK N BULL stories, BET YA DIDN'T KNOW sessions, and some random advertisements. we will never turn into typical bloggers who go "oh today i did this, i did that.. we kiss kiss, hug hug.." and the same old shyyyyt everyday. blogging has been brought to a horribly low level because of such boring entries everyday. who says blogging is only for diary purposes?

from dictionary.com. the definition of Blog.
Main Entry: blog
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called Weblog, Web log
Example: Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.
Etymology: shortened form of Weblog

to lame, is to gear up our 2 cents too. doesnt it meet the criteria of "personal chronological log of thoughts"?

but anyway. im just horribly pissed with this brainless mutton from the tagboard. i wanna let you know:

we do not pose.

who have we posed as actually? we dont discriminate people being twitish, like MOT (but we hate twits, that is). we dont talk about the world or kuching, like Kennysia. we dont expect ourselves to be seductive like Xiaxue.

we just love to crap. and if people read them, and find them hilarious, stupid, lame, splendid or whatever adjective that explains "crap", we are truly grateful. thanks to Yanling, Theresa, TheGAY, sarah, Ben-a.k.a-ABang, HX and many others. after all, they truly understand what we are doing. we arent trying to be famous, but we do hope we can eventually be (to the good side, lah). but main point is, we do not pose. we dont hope to meet the standards like those Blogger of the Year's. we just blog for leisure, for fun, for ourselves, for our random readers who will support us.

so, stereotypical brainless jabroni BAKA. i've got two words for ya......

needless to say. i bet some people know what this means. but nevermind, highlight the bottom.
FUCK OFF

and ladies and gentlemen. Lim Pei Shitty Cock will continue to lame to the end. loyal readers, stay tuned. our Gong Ji Lian Ge has not even reached its last episode. i hope your opinion towards us will not be thwarted by the generalised mindsets of the likes of Baka.

and one last regard to the loyal readers of LPSC. Thank you very much (:

2006-07-13T20:20:00.000+08:00

YAwn.... another day another day of stupidity

Lim peh ka le kong ,,, i am back . but first i would like to say some words to our lovely editor.
oi chao momoofish! lim peh cannot talk about stupid boring pathetic and true daily entry of myself lah!! KNNBCCB !! u think u editor very big isit !! huh , i dun give a @#$#^^$ damn~1! you WAF!@$%#%@ GDGG5%#%fdgdsPAWWWW ##%$^$#$ WHOSSSS AEF#$#%#$^ OUCH!! sdi#$$%#$. whew i think thats enough .

ALright , lim peh has several issues to announce ! When UNDIES and Big cock are pursuing their wet dreams of love for their lovers ( no taste leh ) , lim peh just signed a divorce . Lim bu is too FAT Good for lim peh . so it is best we go on our seperate ways,.. dun worry i will be okay. really i will be okay . really really i will be okay.

Second issue is about that stupid bangla taxi driver that crash my jeep nissan fronthier musibushi limousine with high quality chasis and super big swamper wheels which is meant to kill . that was whaen i was on my way to kill Big cock ( read previous entry be big cock ) ,Chao bangla, i will get my revenge ( actually there is none since the taxi blowed after the crash) here is the recorded argument for last night at 12 am .

12am
lim peh : laalalallalalala ....................... alamak cross juntion . turn left or right to LOT 1? aiyah heck care lah , turn left lor .......................................................... SCREECH !!!!!!! BANG! ..................... OI you knock my car isit !>!??!??! bloody hell u come out !!u come out !!

Bangla: yes?

Lim peh: hai yes . F*** you! u tell me why u crash into lim peh car . make lim peh angry . u trying to look for trouble isit

Banlgla: oh nooo sry . i dunno

Lim peh: what dunno.! u think lim peh idiot isit?KNNBCCB #$%$^#^%&@$# llalaalalalblblblblbblablablablablab

Banlga: oi can u stop saying lim peh this lim peh that or not ?!?!?!!?

lim peh: lim peh say lim peh is lim peh's problem. U got problem issit?

blangla: AEGSHDHuiagfgdsfb laug aiogf opafgsjkfbhy apwioreb aughfjahfia baueiabcaoi aufhaifgga oafaugfam igfiow; [papfohenf g9+g5632113ahfi aiohf ( tamil language)

Lim peh : whao u talk tamil, lim peh not scared lim peh also can! fhuahfa apo jafbnfn aiond aiofaf inni ohfahujd oa;oa n andri oghagadnj bap nen enenenenenen ne en ne ne ne ne ne ne

6 am

lim peh : $%%&^**&(%#$^@#%!#%^$*^*^*^#@#@#$%^&@@%^&
blangla: ^%$#%*(&*%^$^&$%#^&**^()*^*%&^$^$%^*(*%4 with one middle finger
Lim peh: whao bui da han la !

bowww whosss wowwowowowo arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ouch yeeearrrggghhhhh crackkkk btzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz whooooooooooooooooooooo zoooooooooooommmm SHAYID!!!!

12 pm
bangla : pain pain pain pain
lim peh: ah pain painpain pain ah
deep voice: what are you two little dustbins doing.
in unison: pain pain pain pain my groin
Deep voice : pls follow me to the station.

after the heated argument, lim peh is now in the hospital lying comfortably without any cars or bangla come crashing down on him. lim peh still wonders what happen to big cock and UNDIES love life

Lim peh also heard of the wreslemania in 2080 : undies - 1 vs 3
big cock - 1 vs 3
alamak I this kind of conditions 100 years then can heal. sry brothers cannot fight with you
GOOD LUCK . hehehe

2006-07-13T18:56:00.000+08:00

ladies and gentleman, boys and...

OK. im very tired of typing this intro everytime i wanna post. but still, i am..

UNDIES

as you can see, our blog skin has changed! not very decorated yet though, but it looks formal enough. please, we wont design our blog into a total twitish typicality type of outlook. just to remind people, we are ANTI-TWIT.

okay. people. i've got very very very serious news to share. it's regarding BIGc0ck and me.

recently, we put our lives into a helluva hellacious hell.

talk about BIGc0ck first. i can tell that he's horribly stressed up with that matter.

~~yes, you are right, he has reached menopause and cant produce sperm anymore.~~

it's regarding Chicky (read the past posts for greater understanding). as you know, BIGc0ck went dating with Chicky few days ago, with Limpei and I unintentionally screwed up the car-knock-me-down-i-almost-die-then-she-love-me-plan. and apparently, they didnt bloom into couples in the end.

and now the climax. just as BIGc0ck was sending Chicky back to lot1 KFC, they met Big Bird on the way. obviously Big Bird turned into a green monster and hurled Chicky away from BIGc0ck. Bigc0ck retaliated and eventually it became a tug-of-war. upon releasing her, they started a brawl. of course, our master is as fresh as circumcised, he overpowered Big Bird and kicked him at his bird. With Big Bird ROFSHCO (rolling on floor screaming his cock off), BIGc0ck carried his lover outta the scene.

you may think that was close, but you are wrong. BIGc0ck received a letter from Sesame Street 0808 the next day. bingo people, the Sesame Street dickheads have challenged our master into a fight! Ernie, Elmo, and of course Big "Spoilt" Bird will go against him. that's 3-on-1 people, THREE-ON-ONE. BIGc0ck isnt Big Show or Andre The Giant, this is outrageous! people, i know you are starting to worry about our master; Limpei and I are as apprehensive as well... we would like to help him out to make the odds even, but i have my own problems too....

havent you people read my previous post? i officially proposed my love to my dear Spongebob Squarepants. but somehow the faggots in Bikini Bottom managed to invent a wireless internet cable from a ship's loose nut, and visited Limpei Shitty Cock's website. and i got busted. they sent an email through abottlewhichfloatedonseauntilitreachedsingaporespatheticislandandipickeditup.

yes it's another challenge. this is what they wrote.

Dear UNDIES,

Sandy: god damn it? you shameless inbecile. you actually publicly proposed to Spongy? fuck that shit, you arent taking him away. Spongy will never love you, dream on! go back to your own world and lust for other thongs.

Gary: meow meow meow meow! meow meow! meow meow! meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow! meow meow meow meow meow! meow meow meow meow meow! meow meow meow meow meow! meow meow meow meow meow! meow meow meow meow meow! meow meow meow meow meow!

Patrick: oh HOHOHO. UNDIES? you wanna take Spongebob, you have to go through us first. kah kah lai. kan ni na bu chao chee bai (wow -.-).

From,
The Defenders of Bikini Bottom

see now people? how screwed up my life is! same goes for BIGc0ck. now we envy our dear Limpei. He can mate with Limbu all night, but we cant do the same thing with our loved ones. sighh.

ladies and gentlemen. i know you are concerned about Bigc0ck and i. please, show us your support. we need the courage for this fight for our beloved sweethearts. tell us that you hope that we win this battle. thank you people.

Amen.

2006-07-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

New updates
Yes! it is here !! after a long pathetic period of time .. L.P.S.C finally decided to renovate the blog !!
You will be expected to see more exciting colours, new template and bigger words ... AS you readers have noticed our member UNDIES has created a logo for the crew,... THank You So mUcH !!!

There will be more pictures and no more super cock picture!!! we promised to give the very best crap ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and help in putting 4 MILLION Smiles in Singapore! So rock on brothers and sisters, cause L.P.S.C will be coming to town with a brand new look and surprises!!!! this is the L.P.S.C revival

Yours Always,

Signature cannot be printed

Momoofish
Editor
Lim peh shitty cock cooperation

2006-07-13T16:50:00.000+08:00

BIGC0CK POSTING!!!!

(under "momofish" aka "supreme COCK" 's orders, i have been asked to cut the lameness and get some seriousness. ok.)

hi. thanks for reading our blog. today i went to school. i saw some flowers. i bent down to pick them up. then i went to class. all my classmates were there. the teacher came in and we stood up to greet her. we then sat down and the teacher started to teach. we learnt integration today. quite difficult. i also didn't do well for my maths. haiz. then we went for recess.

MISS MY LAMENESS NOW ????????? damn supreme cock. even i miss my lameness.

so! I'M BACK AFTER A LONG DAMNED WHILE!!!!!!! well, what can i say...i've been busy.

now for....BET YA DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!

facts:
did you know that if you stood beside a lamp for more than 72 hours, your brain will erode and radiation from the fan will cause your toenails to change purple, and pimples will grow on mr incredible to look like a bloody corn????

nutritional tips:
wear a condom on your nose and soon your nose will be free of pimples!!! =)

quotes(oh this is good)
a bird without its wings is like little india without indians, selling roti prata without an indian mustached man selling it, watching a porn video without naked bodies in it, ba chaur mee without tee qua, and a bangla without curly oily hair.

poems
roses are red, violets are blue
bah chaur mee zi wa,
mee pok mai tee qua

NO MORE LIAO LA. du lan. THIS IS THE END OF BET YA DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!! nah b#h.

back to.......GONG JI LIAN GE!!!!!!

sos....accordings to my plan last weeks, i plans to win chicky's heart. but but nah beh that limpei go drives wrong roads sia. then kena knock intos the indians taxi driver then even fight. use spanna somes more. nah beh.

the undies even tokong. he gin "chio dei kor"(under wear) den follow. so nah beh nos more cheebye rain and music sia. nah beh cheebye farking lanjiao!! now i cannot wins her hearts liao la. KNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! but neversmind. I wills win hers heart one days.

the politically correct, gramatically wrong and verbally abusive BIGc0ck signing off!!! nah beh

2006-07-10T15:41:00.000+08:00

From the editor's desk,
After opening this damn crappy blog for just a few days, we have received many pathetic complaints. As the editor of the Limpehshittycock cooperation, I will show you some of the most common complaints we have received so far.....

first, is from theGAy , he said our blog sucks,boring, and he/she do not understand a word .
second is from everyone else, they said " this blog is full of nonsense, rubbish and crap. "

we hoped we have not yet offended anyone in any entries in the blog. I would like to suggest that lim peh, big cock and undies to write more boring, pathetic and realistic entries about what they do everyday like going to school and taking the train. ( seems like thats all we do ) just like any other blogs. why? for the readers' sake of course. F***** you readers !

Yours always,
signature cant be printed
Momoofish

2006-07-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

people. this is.......

UNDIES

yes obviously i do not have the mood to type bullshit today. i guess my owner has been getting PMS which indirectly affected me too. i hate him when he pastes his kotex on me; it stinks so much with blood. yes people, it's a HIM. oh well, i do not understand why he's so ever unique from other men. Limpei doesnt discharge eggs, i suppose.

OKAY that was crap. im really unhappy about certain things these days. call me an emo-underwear or whatever. i just feel.... LONELY.

look people. i have been tickling people's cats and chickens since birth. that's all i am limited to do! and i even have to smell ribena omelette (yes, i know you get me) once every 28 days. my life is a boredom! i want liberty!

i'll always feel jealous when i read Limpei and especially BIGc0ck's posts. they are so occupied with their loved ones.

BIGc0ck has his KFC Chicky.

and Limpei has his Limbu.

and being the most sexually appealing UNDIES i am, how can i survive without finding my own true love??!! life is love; I NEED LOVE!

BUT fortunately, i managed to find one just hours ago when i fell into the deep ocean. and i met this individual under the sea who has the HOTTEST figure, the SEXIEST CURVES i have ever seen, and CHARISMA so much greater than mdm rasidah! i think im really in LOVE already!

nono, people. she doesnt look like this..

ladies and gentlemen. i present to you, my new found love..

From Bikini Bottom in a Pineapple House, weighing in at 21343250808 pounds
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SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

2006-07-09T16:46:00.000+08:00

yoyoyoyoyo!!!! this is bigCOCK talking nothing but COCK. alright!! lets start! ever thought of the 10 smartest things to do on a boring weekend??? well, here it is!!

1)buy a 10cent yoyo
2)fall down while trying to wear your underwear
3)try to change your hairstyle. e.g trying to make a mohawk
4)not brushing your teeth and see how good it smells after a day
5)thinking of going to korea and meeting your love there
6)memorising the different kinds of magnets on your fridge.
7)playing with the soft toy that has been with you since birth.
8)looking in the mirror and counting blackheads
9)play miniclip
10)wanting to realise your dream: ride a pasar malam funfair elephant car called popo.

yes! thats very smart yah?? ok now i want to take this opportunity to wish everybody a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! yeah.

now its time for........ASK YOUR FATHER'S COCK!!!!

are there any questions?? oh ya there are. three in fact.

1st question...who is limpei, who is BIGc0ck, who is undies??
answer: limpei is your father. BIGc0ck is a hybrid of a chicken and a penis. undies is what you soak when you get scared.

2nd question...who is wj, who is km?
answer:i have no idea what the hell your are talking about. is wj and km some chicken nuggets? is it an object? a pencil? does it stand for...wank juvenile and kinestatic metallican? please. specify your question.

3rd question...why no sound?
answer:!@#@#$%#$^$%&^*&^&$%^$%^$#@#$@ hell i don't know why there is no damn sound. @ss clown.

back to my "dong ji lian ge" OR "love story in singapore"!!!

so as you know i keep trying to win chicky's heart. i even ate sick oily bangla hair which has never touched water before. that sent me to hospital man. but still ah, cannot work leh. so i device new plan. the typical car-knock-me-down-i-almost-die-then-she-love-me-plan. everytime tv series have one. so i try LOR.so hor, i will ask limpei to drive car. undies will be kind of controller. he will set sad music, then use water to make rain. good ah! so i will walk out the street with chicky, then ask limpei to knock me down lor. but not too hard la. later die how. ahh...den i will put fake blood(not tomato sauce) then pretend to be hurt lor. then chicky will LOVE ME LOR!!!! YEAH!!! hope it works leh . wish me luck nah!

(hows my native speaking limpei?)

2006-07-08T14:50:00.000+08:00

Coundown of the week

Once again, the countdown of the week is here!!!

Lim peh understand that the' O' level chinese oral is here. so lets list the top 10 tips to do well in yah oral . ( for ppl who took it already, too bad)

1. Eat a carrot
2. try to translate : ' leonardo davinci pablo picasso michael angelo mickey mouse ko ko malo killed an ang moh in choa chu kang street 65 at 2500 5 days ago by stabbing a wound onto his breast ....... bla bla blablablalblakblalbluisfhuibfbagkasdhibwei h Zimbabwe" practise everyday
3. say engrish sucks 100 times every hour
4. grow a potato in your bed in 3 days
5. read nian he zao bao , wu bao , wan bao 3 times a day and memorise all the aarticles especially the comics
6. try to find good phrase in your very own COCXFORD dictk. ( if you don't have one ,call the hotline 0808 cock.)
7. stay awake 25 hours a day by washing vegetables
8. eat mutton curry with peanut butter at the same time for 3 hrs
9 last but not least, sing JJ song ' down'
10. and yah not to forget speak chinese daily ( probably the best way) highlight this sentence

Lim peh wish to forget about the GGG issue

Lim peh ka le kong the GGG is becoming more and more infamous each day.... and i thought he went back to mars after ther world cup. that reminds me of the mysterious si kin nah Wonder?women GGG mentioned before he fainted.....( read the third entry before this -for newbies) So i did some research with the SPI ( singapore paranomal investigator) and i found out that in order to find this woman ,or man, I must getarocketfromtheNasaandpay1milltobillgatesfordunnowhyandflymyselfoffthisworldtoanothergalaxythro
throughtheblackholeandthentotheplanetcalledidunnowhatlahandaskforapasserbyforhelpjhf
hcgyuiagsxhlzbcuifchpas.......uascigsicgixb.....iragishayidfuiihahfhxcka.......virus AIds,........uiafafahjfkillgsaigffeteacherofdhsbgklsa............blablablablablablablabla....yah i think thats all..

The quote of the week is............... read a crap a day keeps the doctor's shit away
needless to explain

upcoming crap movie -- a must SEE
Parrots in the Cabinet : the dead man's breast

Book recommended by lim peh
how to win the world cup single handed - written by Beckam's golden balls

UP COMING PERFORMANCE!!!!!
Repeat one last time for careless readers, upcoming perfomance in the esplanade theatre !!! iss MALAY DINING EDIQUETTE PROUDLY presented by LIM PEH SHITTY COCK PRODUCTION. come and support us !!! bangla and VIP Mr kuah si me will be there.

Okay thats all for now, you yuan zai jian !

2006-07-07T17:40:00.000+08:00

Here i am....once again....standing on this face of the earth, chewing on nothing but carpet fur. BIGc0ck shall now be introducing you to the most WONDERFUL, the GREATEST, the INGENIOUS invention that has ever put its ass on this dying planet. the PENCIL. No doubt that with its simple name, it carries a pathetic perspective to everyone on earth. BUT IF NOT FOR THIS MAGNIFICENT gadget, MEN would not have written, MEN WOULD NOT HAVE OVERCOMED THE MOST CHALLENGING OBSTACLE THE HAVE EVER IMAGINED.......growing a carrot. MADE WITH GRAPHITE, THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL DEVICE SPREADS LAYERS AND LAYERS OF CARBON OVER PAPER. THIS PENCIL HAS FED MANY OF THE GAYS IN THE WORLD. THIS PENCIL HAS CREATED A NEW WORLD. THIS PENCIL HAS MADE DICKS LOOK SMALL!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell am i typing???? damn.

okokok! now theres a lot of controversy with the GAY ALIEN, being featured on movies, being tortured by Shayid(the iraqi from the popular series"LOST AND FOUND"), and even being hung on a wooden pole like a flag. THIS ALIEN IS FREAKIN HOT dude! EVERYONE LOVES HIM! now, HYPE----R records even has a new album on this alien! its called "love love cute cute aiai GAY". being the only album that has the genre "gay pop", this album proves to be one of the hot favourites. featuring the gay single: loving the male, and the gay double(with LumJunJie): GAY is the WAY, this magnificent album even comes with a free "how to be gay" manual!!! man this is so cool! unlike that movie(hey undies! is it porn?), this album will be featured one year earlier, which is AD2087. so till then, man man den.(slow slow wait)

ok...i guess i have to stop here....can't think of anything else to say anymore. lost many brain cells watching ~~porn~~ T.V. i also cannot stop thinking about chicky. that damned bigbird will try to take her away, but i won't give up. by the way, did u guys watch the movie "parrots of the cabinet: dead man's breast?" i tink its nice. gay nice.

2006-07-05T19:44:00.000+08:00

Goooooooooooooood evening chickens and cats, it's once again

the
unbelievablynauticaldisgustingidioticenormousshit
UNDIES.
stay cool people, i'm what you are wearing now.
-tickles-

i have very special news to report.

****

LIMPEI SHITTY COCK TIMES
5 July 2006

GGG'S DEBUT FILM DELAYED. LIMPEI SHITTY COCK WILL SAVE THE DAY.
Reported by UNDIES

Gundu Gamma Gay, aka the Gay Alien has debuted in Hollywood with his latest film (currently still unnamed)! Limpei Shitty Cock Times bet you didnt know about it!

This is Mr Gay's first, and probably the very last film he's playing due to numerous negative feedbacks from the supporting artises about his uncooperative skills and his very pussy-faced outlook. However, it's indeed the gayish look of Mr Gay that attracted the film maker's attention to include him in his productions.

Currently, the exclusive movie poster is said to be prepared but not released yet, perhaps the supporting companies believe that sponsoring this film will make them suffer a great loss after its release. Ironically, Limpei Shitty Cock and almost 0.0000000000001% of Singapore's population (wow, that's ~~pathetic!~~ a lot!) are anxiously anticipating its release! Isn't Mr Gundu Gamma Gay's fame so legendarily overwhelming?

It is said that the film will not be released until around AD2808. Limpei Shitty Cock Times believes that you are very ~~happy~~ unhappy about the horribly-delayed release of Mr Gay's movie.

Do not worry, do not frown! Desperate times, desperate measures. There's always such a thing called DOWNLOAD. Don't worry cats and chickens, Limpei Shitty Cock promises everyone that they will get their hands on a copy of the film as soon as possible, so as to satisfy your lust towards Mr Gay's hard work.

Limpei Shitty Cock will first fish out certain informations about the film. It has also been acknoledged that the ~~minority~~ majority of the people would love to beautify your Desktop with Gundu Gamma Gay's wallpapers. Limpei Shitty Cock will save your day; they promise to provide you with the exclusive poster of the film as soon as they get it.

Peace.

****

are you guys feeling despo already? dont worry, we are currenly in search for the exclusive poster as mentioned! the unbelivablynauticaldisgustingidioticenormousshit UNDIES will promise results.

Amen people. -Tickles-

2006-07-05T17:16:00.000+08:00

Lim peh's encounter with the third sex

Lim peh ka le kong, due to popular demand( actually not but i insist) we will now have the Exclusive interview with the GAY ALIEN . together with lim peh is Shayid, the iraqi torturer so as to ensure that the alien talk.

lim peh: whats ur name
alien: GGG

lim peh: huh ?
alien : Gundu Gamma Gay

lim peh : so where are you from, why are you here ?
GGG : dunno

lim peh : better say or else!!!
GGG: what i scared isit! !!

lim peh : SHAYID!!!!

after hours of beating

GGG: ok ok i am from mars. ... i came to look for XY beings... to gay with .

lim peh : bleeedy hell. ok GGG what do u like to do .
GGG: gaying, shitting, digging and eating everything inedible...

Lim peh : oic so what do u like to eat?
GGG: mutton's eyeballs and peanut shells

lim peh: u have that in mars?
GGG: dunno ...

SHAYID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after hours of torturing ......................................

GGG: arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,.... yah yah

lim peh : DO YOU HAVE ANY COUNTERPARTS HERE!
GGG: yes ....................... my juniors

lim peh: where are they!
GGG: in a mountain

LIM PEI: oi simmi mountain
GGG: BROKEBACK MT.

Lim peh: knn. why are u not there?
GGG: lao beh wanna look for more gays cannot isit!!!

lim peh: so rude .. dun give me face isit!!

After hours of torturing

Limpeh: one more question!!!
GGG: fang mah guo lai !

Lim peh : who do u think will win the world cup
GGG: BrokeBack united

Lim peh : knn! is IraQ !!!! lah
GGG: uh hugh

Lim peh: I know who u are
GGG: -_-

lim peh: YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!!!
GGG:huh

lim peh: YOU ARE ONE OF THE EX-MEN
GGG: oh shyt ! how yyah know

lim peh: because u are a hermaphrodite!!!
GGG: yes i am = (

lim peh: oh dear ! i am burning in ice!!!!
GGG: that botak professor took me in .

lim peh: what the hell , you this kind also can enter !!
SHAYID!!!!!!!!!!!!
another hours of tormenting

GGG: arrrghhhhhhhhhhh . Wonder?woman help me !!!
lim peh : wonder?woman??????????????????

from then on , GGG started to fear earthlings and is isolated from the rest forever!!!!
and lim peh is yet on another quest this time in search for another being from outer space! Wonder?woman... many ppl wonder whether wonder?woman is once a woman or a man................................................................hmmm....

2006-07-03T18:55:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of ALLLL ages.

Today marks the debut of a certain individual in Lim Pei Shitty Cock Productions, whose fame is as small as Lim Pei's pisai.

everybody, i present to YOU.

the unbelievablynauticaldisgustingidioticenormousshit...
UNDIES.
stay cool people, im what you are wearing now.
-tickles-

i have gone through real painful and tiring tests to get qualified in this team. i was told to mate both Lim Pei and BIGc0ck instantaneously, help circumcise BIGc0ck, and play 19873213990808 strip mahjong games with Lim Pei.

but here i am. i ate all the pain. and here i stand, TALL and STRONG, playing with your chickens and cats. and i promise all Lim Pei Shitty Cock readers, the 3 crappers of this company will constantly entertain you with our genuine lameless and..

once again, everybody, give it up FOR..

the unbelievablynauticaldisgustingidioticenormousshit...
UNDIES.
stay cool people, im what you are wearing now.
-tickles-

amen people. and oh people, dont try to reveal my identity. after all, you are sitting on me now. do say hi to me, esp when you are in the loo. i love to be missed. PEACE.

2006-07-03T15:52:00.000+08:00

lin nao hia, lim pei neber support what u call thaliban or sri lanka or afganistan lah !( refer to previous entry for newbies ) lim pei support iraq! because my ken brother travel agency told me iraq is a very nice country. i asked why. he say what iraq got provide nuclear energy for the ppl despite usa threat. so i think iraq can also win the cup despite threat from ireland hand NEPAL.or nipple . whateverlah also he say that iraq has fireworks all day all night . dunno true or not lah
the quote of the next day is......
lim peh got this inspiration when i am stuck in the toilet bowl for 10 hrs after eating mutton curry .
<<>> gotit good.

just read a chinese article in nian he zao bao . '' ANG MOH MURDERER HAS LIGHTER SENTENCE AS HE IS NATIVE SPEAKER.'' due to the GAHMen who want to improve our english standard , the cock of law lighten the briton Mcgill from death penalty to jail. what the hell lah . i mean we are also native speakers what . we speak natively mah in singlish. then why local murderer kenna hang leh. bleedy judge.

upcoming perfomance in the esplanade theatre !!! iss MALAY DINING EDIQUETTE PROUDLY presented by LIM PEH SHITTY COCK PRODUCTION. come and support us !!! bangla and VIP Mr kuah si me will be there.

GOOD NEWS. someone will be joining us in the revolution. his name is ggggggggggggggggggg UNDIES stands for UnbelievablyNauticalDisgustingIdioticEnormousShit . Await his arrival together with his supporters.

lim peh ka le kong will be talking aboout crap place of the week tmr bye bye for now!

2006-07-03T09:36:00.000+08:00

OLEOLEOLEOLE!!!!!!!!!! TODAY IS..............

WORLD CUP SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

since the whole of the month is soccer, i caught the world cup fever too! and lets talk about it today!!!!

so, who do i support???? well....the team i support will surely win! its ZIMBABWE!!!!!! WOWOOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!! go go go! ole ole ole! zimbabwe rocks like hell man. theres this goal keeper called anguris gazingulabajulieokanenah. he saved 0 goals man. but HE STILL ROCKSSSSS. now theres this striker, called kantoneah qitonabeichibyenana. hes japanese, but ever since the atomic bomb at world war 2, he got mutated. he looked like a zimbabweian so we was sent to zimbabwe. now hes playing for the world cup! who would have thought. i shant talk about the other players cause they are all fired. so....will these two men triump in the world cup?????? oh wait. is zimbabwe in the finals?? HELL YEAH!!!!!!! its gonna beat brazil and its bucktoothed players. England? never heard of it. France? go to hell and eat your papazizit monsieur you idiots. italy? go bake another pizza man. spain? F*&@ you. egypt? GOOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO! this may be the only team which stands a chance.(not to offend the people who support england, france italy and spain.this blog is a joke. so don't take it too seriously yah? ahaha)

ok now i'm going to bet all my money on zimbabwe. hope they win!!! cya!

btw, i tink limpei supports afganistan or thaliban or srilanka or whatever. i'm not sure. they all sound the same to me.

2006-07-02T21:07:00.000+08:00

whats up guys? have a nice day so far? like i care. haha. so what are we gonna do today LEH?well.... its......

BET YA DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok! today's facts:
-did you know that eating floppy diskettes can cause cancer, bronchitis, legomorphisis, and idiotaphysicsiliconacorisrilankaindonesiasis? it can also cause fur(carpet fur) to grow on your chest area! my god thats terrible! so to all nutritionists, dietitians and aircon repairman, TAKE NOTE!

todays's quotes:
-a mutton is believed to be mutton but will a mutton itself believe that it is a mutton, or will another mutton believe that the first mutton is mutton, or vice versa, the first mutton believe that the second one is a mutton? OR will a third mutton think that both of them are not mutton and think that it itself is a mutton that has hair growing out of its genitals? wow. beautiful isn't it. it came from the book "ba ba black shit".

today's gay:
-JOHN TRAVOLTA!! that loser from the failed musical "lubricant" and acting in some $20 movie called swordguppy. his boyfriend is called sean connery. they have gay sex 20 times per day. my god. don't they ever get bored with each other??

today's book:
-how to floss a monkey in 2 minutes. need i explain?

thats all for BET YA DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!! Hope you have enjoyed it! like i care.

alright...lets get to my STORY!!

ok...today i was going to hougang cc to snatch some candy from kids having abacus lesson, but then i saw it. the woman of my dreams. she was so beautiful, she had the clearest eyes, she was perfect! my god. no its not steeeeve chiiiiiia, nor a bangla cleaner. my heart was pounding when i approached her for her number. but when i asked, she didn't reply. puzzeled now, i tried to attract her by rolling on the ground. it didn't work. i bought roses. nope. i plucked some bangla hair and ate it, nothing. suddenly, a voice sounded. it was a man. he said. the number is "6-2353535". kfc delievery. yes, the girl is none other than, KFC chicky!

okok fine! so what if i fell in love with a KFC mascot which has a lame hat on its head, who doesn' have a plastic statue like ronald macdonal? can't help it, love is blind. but now i have a rival. its BIGBIRD from sesame street. looks like i have to prepare for war.

2006-07-02T15:58:00.000+08:00

by the way, anyone interested in the exclusive interview of gay aliens?

2006-07-02T15:55:00.000+08:00

updates on the flying mutton
live at pasir panjang private swimming complex by momoofish reporter:
it has hit the world hard! flying everywhere ,ever corner, every countries, every MRT stations and even every mama shops in the world!!! NO it is not a bird, it is not a plane, it is the super mutton.
WANTED: COOKED OR alive posters are pasted around the world. In my morning daily planet, in my underwear, and even in the bus stop downstairs.
and yah, research also shows that this mutton is no ordinary mutton, he is out of the gay world in another gay planet ,like LWY. i think the planet is mypton. isit? and how the hell did it get into EARTH. the bangla next door told me that supermutton was trying to save the Earth,save from what! so kaypo .... we can handle our own problems bu yao yue pang yue mang!

2006-07-01T16:45:00.000+08:00

ALRIGHT GUYS!!!!!!!! lets start shall we???i'm going to intro you some new programmes that BIGc0ck and lim pei are going to do for the next two centuries! First: is called "bet ya didn't know!". its an informational talk. it will include: interesting facts, cool quotes, nice books, gayeye gays, and yummy peanut butter. "bet ya didn't know" will BLOW YOUR MIND YEAH. second...is "gay movies and shit music." in this segment we will be covering EVERY SINGLE MOVIE AND SONG THAT SUCKS. another one is: "crap of the week". as the name goes, we will be supplying you not only the best crap of the week, we will even be giving you the best crap of the week! huh? ok nvm. "the last one, is "ASK the father's COCK. in this one, readers can post questions at the tag and we will be ever so willing to help YOU. NICE RIGHT?

by the way, the mutton that escaped from potato forest that limpei talked about? i saw it. suprisingly, it appeared in the movies! strange huh. no doubt media is always that quick. so, i gathered 10 important information on it.
1) i don't know its name. i tink it starts with a S.
2) he is gay
3)he is a gigglo
4)he is a solar panel
5)he rapes reporters
6)he has dominant S traits. the offsprings he give birth to will all be like him. GAY AND GIGGLO.
7)his fringe curls no matter what happens to him. dead, alive, flying, swimming, dancing, acting, gaying, eating, spraying, looking at porn, playing computer games, running naked, or digging a hole in the ground.
8)he is made of playdough. i didn't know playdough was so strong. even bullets couldn't penetrate it. amazing.
9)he looks like one of my teacher.
10)he is gay.(did i say that already?)

thats all i know. if you see him, PLEASE, CALL THE HOT LINE 0808 COCK. it costs $30 for each call.

SOOOO, STAY TUNED TO OUR BLOG, and may the COCK be with you!

2006-07-01T15:22:00.000+08:00

countdown of the week
Lim pei ka le kong, flag day and youth day is very similar. How i know? because lim pei celebrate both in one day. Here is the top ten similarities of flag day and youth day. ...
1 both involve youngsters. duh!
2 both starts to be part of your calender when you become a teenager.
3 both have the thing SYF. Singapore Youth Festival and Save my Young Folks.
4 both are fun and meaningful.!!!! right
5 both are celebrated outdoors by doing absolutely nothing
6 both are a waste of time
7 both are physically constraint like running about in shopping centres or away from donations seeking muttons
8 both are famous and anticipated ,........................................ what am i writing ?
9 ehhhhhhhhhh ....... both are for si nong kia and si gin nas who have nothing better to do .
10 and last but not least both have something to do with peanuts and mutton!! yeeepeeeee

LIM PEI encounter with the third D
At the meantime , lim pei encountered with an alien in cck cc. the alien was seen kia lai kia ki with a tin can. yah it was said to be from the gay planet mars. ( psst i think he tagged here before ) to find out more, call 0808 COCK. I think i will interview if anyone is interested, pls tag and say so ......

Muttons on the loss
LAst week, a mutton had escaped from the potato forest. Chamillionaire, Mr momoofish, saw it flying into the sky up up and away. the mutton was wearing a tight blue shirt with a Big S in front and red underwear inside out. If anyone see this flying object, pls dun think it is a bird it is a plane.NO it is the escaped mutton.

2006-06-30T21:18:00.000+08:00

more updates
Hey BIG COCK you forget a few things. In order to be 'singaporeans ' friendly, we decided to talk natively lah . which means speaking in our native language lor. one more thing ah , we want to warn yah readers and ah bengs, ah quahs and those from mars, that any characters ( like cock monster and purple people eater ) involved are fictionious and untrue lah, and any resemblance of the dead ( like nail clipper,llaksa, mee pok) or alive ( like my pet horny bee, potato and mosquito too) here is purely coincident, . okay, and then hor, dun anyhow assume who we are and then somemore hor , i encourage you all to visit our links. highly recommended for shit sake leh leh. dun like that leh. We will talk about the amazing Softball . come on ppl it is gonna be fun yay ................... -_- !

2006-06-30T18:48:00.000+08:00

yooo!!! i'll make this fast today alright guys? i got some issues to adress.(no, its not that i just drank shampoo just now.) firstly, this link. its too bloody long. even longer than the chicken tuna fine breaded hotdog mustard chilli hotdog. even i get irritated typing this address. What can i do about it? GUESS?? (hint, its got something to do with cats). NO?? alright....ITS..........COPYcat( see?) AND PASTE!!!!!! brilliant!

secondly, the lousy template. it looks like shit doesn't it. but i can explain. it was done in one hr. how well do you expect it to be? BUT DON"T WORRY!!!!!!!! BIGCOCK WILL SOLVE this!!! i'll get a better template, better songs, and better nail clippers. i'll tidy this piece of shit into a palace made of shit. Hope then more people will support us. including the security guards. even banglas. EVEN chickens. alright! so its set?? cool??? i gotta go now, see EUUUU WOOOORRRRRRXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. haha.

2006-06-29T19:55:00.000+08:00

HellOOOOOOOOOOOO..... readers , ladies and gentlemen,dudes and dudettes, cows and cattles, beevil and hamsters !! Guess who's in TOWN! This is the most anticipated, long awaited , highly crapish, sensational news blog ever!! and i gottta warn yah . ALL entries defies any laws of physics and mathematical equations . THIS THIS THIS is the new revolution. this is the end of an era just like momoofish! IN the following months, look out for more new potatoes and lymphocytes that will bulldoze ur way to more entries. With support from ah bengs and ah quas and not to forget special guests like Sean DEEE pore, and more to come. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, GRAB a crabbie paddie and stay tune .

2006-06-29T19:29:00.000+08:00

yo lim pei is coming to town . ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............................!

2006-06-28T18:43:00.000+08:00

ALL RIGHT!!! Whats up you guys! SO! FINALLY THE COCK HAS COME BACK! (after getting addicted to super mario v1.0). Firstly i have to thank HX, who ever so willingly helped me get this piece of crap on track! You see, when i first got in the template everything was like " ***#$###@##^%%^$%^$%^$%^SDFSGSDFSDFGS WTF dfl;gkjdsfgklnd;gldflgdh I sdfkgjbdgkdDONTlskjgbskgjbGETskldgjhsklgjbsdfTHISskghskgjseSHITlfkdgndkl;fgndfl;." yeah. i almost puked out my nuts when i saw this crap. BUT, i have done it! I HAVE OVERCAME THE IMPOSSIBLE AND EMERGED VICTORIOUS.Soon, my partner LIM PEI will be joining us in our quest, to nowhere. If you're wondering what limpei is doing now, no, hes not playing with his tits, no, not trying to taste liquid paper. Our dear LIMPEI, is getting all intimate with his books, doing his best to pursue his acadamical dreams. SO, how did we starting this crappy blog??? Frankly, i don't know. Me and limpei were like talking about how to operate a mechnical pencil, then it suddenly came to US. BLOG. NONSENSE. POTATO CHIPS. THEN IT CAME. THIS BLOG WAS THE MOST INGENIOUS IDEA that we ever came upon.(except that time we planned to dismantle a pencil) SO what will we be doing??? WELL, all i can tell you is...........................I DON'T KNOW. except maybe trying to learn how to eat hair gel. but i think we may be touching on, THE BOOK. yeah. SO GRAB YOUR NUTS AND FOLLOW ME! WE SHALL EXPLORE THE WORLD OF NONSENSE!!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA! erm ok nvm. BIGc0ck signing off! bye!!!